Monday, May 17, 2004

Imagine the Negotiation

From the Denver Post, Sunday, May 16, 2004:

"'Bugs Bunny' star Greg Burson was arrested Wednesday after barricading himself inside his Los Angeles home for six hours. Burson, 54, provides the voices for children's cartoon favorites Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Yogi Bear. He replaced Mel Blanc in 1989 after Blanc's death.

"Two women called police claiming Burson was holding his roommate hostage. A SWAT team arrested an inebriated Burson after several hours of negotiations. Police discovered guns in his home. The tree women, all Burson's roommates, were unharmed."

Can you imagine THAT negotiation?

Negotiator: "Sir, please come out and release the hostages."

Burson (as Elmer Fudd): "Be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting WABBITS!"

Negotiator: "Mr. Burson, can I call you Greg? Greg, you appear to be very upset, why don't we just talk about it?"

Burson (as Bugs Bunny): "Of course you realize, this means war."

Negotiator: "Come on Greg, I like Bugs as much as the next guy, but you have some people with you who are very frightend."

Burson (as Yosemite Sam): "Aahhh hates rabbits."

Negotiator: (To himself) "Dear, Lord." (To Burton) "Uh, Greg, have you been drinking?"

Burson (as Daffy Duck): "None of your beeth-wathx! (hic!)"

Negotiator: (Trying to distract) "Greg, are you a sports fan?"

Burson (as Foghorn Leghorn): "Ah say, there's somethin', Ah say, there's just something' eeeewwwww about a boy that don't like baseball."

Negotiator: (To his fellow officers:) I say we drag him out of his doghouse and paddle his ass with a two by four.

Burson: (as Yogi Bear): "Uh, do any of you guys happen to have a pic-a-nic basket?"

Go ahead! Make up of some of your own! It just goes on forever!

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