Tuesday, May 05, 2009

We haven't bashed in a while

[For those of you who haven't encountered a post like this, I read bash.org where things spontaneously "said" on IRC chat are gathered and voted on so the cream goes to the top, and then I put my favorites here for a quick and lazy post.]

ipatchphd: i knew someone named april may
IUErothyme: hahahahahaha
ipatchphd: and when her mom was angry shed say

ditte: my parents had a girl about my age
ditte: omg

kaber: My buddy just got a divorce. they had 4 kids. she met some new guy and she thinks she'll have it better with him
kaber: so the women leave thinking it's greener on the other side and what not.. and they usually end up getting shafted even more
tomalak: kaber: I think that's the point.

Spiff-Johnson: So i bought a shirt from express men.. does that make me gay?
cool4dude: no, the fact that you have sex with men makes you gay
cool4dude: the shirt just makes you a stereotype

Dun fck wit meh: when muslim women come to my door i talk to them through the mail slot, see how they like it

rizerz: A Japanese doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we
rizerz: can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him
rizerz: looking for work in six weeks.'
rizerz: A German doctor said, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one
rizerz: person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'
rizerz: A British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we
rizerz: can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have
rizerz: them both looking for work in two weeks.'
rizerz: A Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, 'You guys are way behind. We
rizerz: took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White House, and
rizerz: now half the country is looking for work.

PROTOtype2k6: Hey Fel you know the difference between Michael phelps and Hitler?
Felathan: no clue proto.
PROTOtype2k6: At least Michael Phelps could finish a race.

[Note: this last one makes me cringe it's so evil, but I did laugh. It joins the pantheon of the other joke I won't tell at a party unless I totally warn everyone first, thus kneecapping the joke.]


entropy said...

What's the other joke?

yahmdallah said...

q: why do women have vaginas? (And you're really supposed to use a vulgar term, the worst one possible for the given group.)

a: so men will talk to them.

Terrible isn't it? But it does kill in boy-only or girl-only groups as long as you have the gender and equipment adjusted for the gender of the crowd.

entropy said...

That's awful...but funny.

We have a misogynist friend who is forever telling my husband off-color jokes. For example:

Q. What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

A. Nothin. You done told her twice.

*sigh* I'm ashamed I even typed that.