Corn

TLD: I'm going to break from tradition and take the high road in this particular post.

I simply don't believe the nutrition information on packages of whole kernel corn.

Here's why. The way they determine the calories in something is they get a sample of a certain weight, they then burn it in a chamber that can measure the exact amount of heat given off, and voila, you have a calorie count. The thought is that the amount of heat can be extrapolated into how the body digests that food as it relates to calories.

Carbohydrates are determined by inverse zen math performed without a spotter, evidently. All the stuff I've read on how they guess determine carbs reads like most college papers and scientific articles where the author doesn't want to come out and admit s/he really doesn't have any idea what's going on. They're largely making it up as they go.

But the issue at hand is corn. After reading how the scary C's are determined, and observing that my body doesn't even begin to process whole kernel corn the way their labs and calculators do, I conclude that corn is the dietary equivalent of Styrofoam packing peanuts. Therefore, from now on, I'm going to ignore the dietary label on all whole kernel corn products with extreme prejudice.

Disqualifier for those of you in the cheap seats: I'm not a professional scientist and have not done anything to prove my opinion. Carefully reading the post and imagining my situation when my conclusion occurred can help you to determine the one method I used. Don't even think of suing me if you're fat from a month-long all-corn bingefest.