Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Millions (the movie)

It was OK, but kinda complex for a kid's movie.

It also had a pacing problem. None of us could keep our attention on it.

To top all of that off, their accents are so thick that I missed a good portion of the lines, and just didn't have the energy to put on subtitles (which would have annoyed my nine-year-old because she would try to read them, but probably isn't fast enough just yet).

It's about two boys who discover a bag full of pounds a week before Britain goes to the Euro. (Cute huh? - they can't just sit on the money because it will be worthless in a week). The younger child is given to hallucinations involving dead saints since his mother died (why do so many children's films have the ONE SITUATION that kids fear most?), and those are clever if you know some of the history, but say if you're 9 and don't, it's just a lot of confusing fluff. (Nearly every time one of those came up, my daughter asked, "What are they talking about, dad?")

And it has unmarried people waking up in bed naked together. The younger son wanders into his dad's bedroom looking for the money that the bad guy is coming to take upon threat harming everyone if he doesn't get it, and there his dad and his new girlfriend are. OK, maybe my wife and I are hopelessly anachronistic, but we don't like children's films that contain such images - especially when they are as gratuitous as this one was.

The filmmaking itself and the special effects were good, but that's kinda like saying the candy coating on carob is as shiny and attractive as that on M&Ms; in the end you're still biting into carob and not chocolate.

I doubt the kids will really like this one (unless of course they have a good history of the saints).

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