Thursday, March 16, 2006

Oh the wailing. Oh the gnashing of teeth.

Speaking of the Oscars... Jeez, the whining over Brokeback's not winning best picture hasn't subsided yet.

Read Ebert's rehash of the Crash backlash, for instance.

How about this letter from a reader he also published.

Dear God. Let's just all have a nice long look at the white elephant in the room. Just because Brokeback didn't win the Oscar for best picture (and in spite of the fact that it picked up that honor from practically every other group that gives such awards) that doesn't mean it's a disapproval of or an indictment against gays. If you feel that a movie that's "about you" must win the top award for your life to be validated, let me assure you that you have bigger stuff to talk to your therapist about.

Look at it this way, Napoleon Dynamite didn't even get nominated for best hair or anything. Does this mean socially awkward geeks everywhere should despair and submit to being stamped into little green squares of soylent green?

Finally, Annie Proulx kvetches about the loss as well. Sour grapes indeed, my dear.


So, as a public service, I offer the following (currently making the email rounds) for all of you who find the loss of Brokeback disheartening for any other reason than you actually liked the movie. Once you can chuckle at this, then maybe you're closer to realizing it was JUST A MOVIE.

Subject: Rejected Titles for Brokeback Mountain

High Nooner
The Magnificent Seven Inches
Jeremiah's Johnson
Polesmoke
Butch Assidy and the Bundance Kid
The Man Who Shot All Over Liberty Valance
How the West Was Hung
The Legend of the Long Ranger
Doc's Holiday with Billy the Kid
Very Raw Hide
You Can Leave Your Hat On
Lonesome Doug
A Fistful of Ned
The Pirates of Ennis' Ass
The Very Good Shepherd
Hi, Plains Drifter!

- Directed by Sam Peckerpaw, of course.

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