Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Business Opportunity

Some folks think the Rapture is due any moment, due to the recent uptick in tension over in Israel. (Via

I find the idea suspect that we (Christians) will all suddenly be sucked up to heaven, to say the least. The Bible says things that can be interpreted that way, so I'm not counting it out, but let me say that if it happens, I'll be surprised - and not only because I might suddenly find myself at the pearly gates in the midst of a bowel movement (and if that happens, at least I'll have the King to commiserate with).

However, there are plenty of people who think it's gonna happen (and soon!), so I have an idea for those of you who have no fear of hell.

Nothing in Rapture eschatology talks about pets. Therefore, a case can be made that Fido and Socks aren't gonna get snatched up to heaven when Ma and Pa do.

Well, who's gonna take care of all those animals?

Someone should offer a service to assume the care of those animals, for a small fee upfront and a mention in the Will for upkeep, because as a pagan/atheist/scientologist/Pastafarian they have no worry about being Raptured, and thus will be able to keep the water bowls filled and so on.

Keep in mind that most families have a black sheep, and I bet the rest are secretly assuming they will stay behind to take care of the animals during the tribulation, so you have to build that into your business plan.

But rest assured that there will be enough people who think they're ALL going, and you might be able to retire within a year. Plus, you'll probably get an interview on Fox News.

I myself have no intention on moving forward with this idea because I would never be able to keep a straight face during the presentation, so consider this a freebie.

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