Reasons why, number 3,974,857.
I love that woman because she makes me laugh.
The other night, the baby was in her crib, and we were getting ready for bed. My wife farted a rather grandiose and multi-note fluffer. The baby stirred not. When I crack one, we have to get the spatula to scrape her from the ceiling. (Not to mention the dog.)
I said, "How come when I fart she wakes up, but you can fart with abandon?"
She said, "Because mine sound like a door creaking, yours sound like artillery rounds."
Maybe I should look into going competitive...