Monday, July 28, 2003

Manic Monday

Let's laugh!

I have collected chain emails and other funnies from the web since the early nineties. I have many of them stored on my old geocities vanity website, but I thought I'd resurrect some of the better ones here, and try to get you to wet yourselves. Included are recent funnies as well. Enjoy. Disclaimer: not responsible for sudden heart attack, stroke, or damaged furniture due to aforementioned and forewarned levity.

Onward through the frog!

It goes back and forth as to whether this one is an urban myth or not. Still, the idea of some asshole strapping a solid fuel rocket to his Impala, after all the grievous examples offered by Wile E. Coyote, is a blast.

The first part of this is the straight (ahem) story from the newspaper, the second part is anonymous comments made when it first made the early email-chain rounds. Two Richard Gere fans are sticking gerbils up their butts, and...

This is an actual letter returned to a) a loon, or b) someone who's brilliant at pranks who kept sending stuff he found in his backyard to the Smithsonian.

Krusty the Clown (the only non-scary clown in all of clowndom) reacts to a cartoon on his show after Marge has managed to pull a Tipper Gore and get every cartoon politically corrected into your standard PBS cartoon. (It's an MP3 file, but I think most browsers and systems play them automatically anymore. If not, go hence and get thee Winamp.)

An actual customer call. I've scrambled the guy's name in case he stumbles onto this and is still in the mood to sue. Most of the companies I've worked for have used this in their customer service rep. training courses to prepare them for guys like this. I love how he nearly stays contained, but when the lid blows off, it hits the stratosphere.

If we all talked in King James Leviticus style, this is what our children would hear.

Robin Williams channels a Scot who explains the invention of golf.

It's been recently proven somehow that a billion monkeys with access to writing materials will never produce Shakespeare, or even a passable fortune cookie slogan; however, the odd anonymous web scribe can certainly take the chicken crossing the road gag and render it in the voice of Freud, or Hemingway, or...

Thanks for playing!

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