WANTED

Part time. Night shift. Some travel required. Must be able to lift minimum of 80 lbs. Work environment is often loud, smoky, and occasionally hazardous. Commissions only. No benefits.

Given the job description, you'd think there would be no live concerts. Granted, it doesn't mention the booze and drug soaked parties, or the groupies, but I think - like the free juice some companies provide - it becomes a mixed blessing. Over time as one's liver defects, the memory faults, paternity cases arise from unremembered trysts, and the sugar in the juice that makes you fat and ruins your teeth, one tires of the so-called benefits.

In spite of all these drawbacks, we still have massive talents who've persevered, overcome, and rock our asses to midnight.

Two of the best of these are Elvis Costello and Dwight Yoakam.

I saw Elvis Costello the other night and my God ... I cannot hyperbolize enough on how the man doth rock. I've been a fan for some time, but his concerts (I've seen two now) flaunt how many good songs he's written. And how varied and eclectic they are. He's almost the Beatles unto himself. If you have a chance to see him, by all means, go.

Dwight Yoakam is one of the only two artists whose CDs I buy the moment they're released, without previewing, because they are all good. There is not a single, solitary, even one turkey in all of his releases.

TLD: The only other active group to whom this applies is the Foo Fighters, because of course the Beatles are one of the other few examples of maximum non-suckitude in regards to consistency of oeuvre. And, if they are to your taste, the Eagles, Simon and Garfunkel, and Steely Dan can claim fealty to this throne, but only if you dig'em.

Dwight's latest release maintains his reputation of greatness. It's a little tainted by the current neo-bluegrass fad caused by O Brother, Where Art Thou?, which I am NOT a fan of. But it's still got his singular country-rock groove by way of Buck Owens and that city-slicker sound.

That people this talented exist (Costello and Yoakam, in case you forgot) just confirms my belief in God, country, and all that is good.

TLD: Both Elvis and Dwight are not the best-looking guys ever to grace the stage, however. It's as though when they were being prepped for life on earth, God informed them that they would have prodigious and bountiful talent, which would bring wealth and acclaim, but He was going to have to make them really ugly in order that they wouldn't be too powerful. I don't imagine either of these guys wants for female attention, but I bet on occasion, when they emerge from the shower, their paramour must think to herself, "Damn! I hope our children resemble me."