Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of dialup,
I will fear no lag: for thou art with me;
Thy lights and thy bandwidth they comfort me.
Thou preparest a website before me in the presence of mine boredom:
Thou anointest my ports with data;
My hard drive runneth over.
Surely fast surfing and low access rates shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the house of cisco systems for ever.
Punctuation aside, I think that's pretty freakin' clever.