So let me show you around, Maybe play you a sound, You look like you're both pretty groovy
(For the record, "Sweet Transvestite," which is the source of the title of this post, is one of those "guilty favorites/wouldn't want to be caught blasting this during" a red light songs.)
Did you know that you can record any audio off the web and make it an MP3? (Or Wav.)
I didn't until about a month ago. When I happed across a page that spelled it out, I said to myself, "Well duh."
All you do is download "Audacity", which is available for pretty much any OS you have. Make sure you get the "LAME" MP3 encoder so you can export to MP3. (More about LAME here.)
Once you've got it installed and LAMEd, open up preferences and make sure that in "Audio I/O" tab you pick "2 (Stereo)" in the "Channels" selection, and in the "Quality" tab you select a sample rate of "44100 Hz" and a format of "32-bit float".
Before you record, make sure any programs that make noises - such as email going "ping!" when an email arrives - are closed. Sometimes these sounds get captured in what you're recording, and even if they don't, they might cause a gap or static in your recording.
I use MS Windows, so I had to open up the volume control (double-click the speaker in the tray), select "Properties" in the "Options" menu, switch to "Recording" and select "Stereo Mixer" to choose the sound source of audio that's piped to my computer over the web. Remember how to get to this, because you use the slider to set the recording level, which you may have to do every time you record something.
Then, go to Youtube.com or anywhere you can find some audio you want to grab (like those artist's pages on myspace where they offer up complete streaming songs) and let it play through once (as this stores a local copy while you have a browser open). Use this first time through to set your recording input level.
You want to make sure the blue Rorschach wave form display that shows you the intensity of the volume doesn't touch the edges of the gray bars (meaning it's clipping - literally chopping off the ends of the sounds because they're out of range/too loud), but come as close as possible. If you can't turn it up enough while recording, don't worry, you can turn it up after you record. It's just better to get the best volume during the original sample, because that way you insure you don't get any distortion or hidden artifacts if you do have to turn it up.
Once you've set your recording level and let it play through once, close that sample in Audacity, open a new one, and start recording before you restart whatever it is you're recording. Restart it and DON'T TOUCH YOUR COMPUTER until it's done. Sometimes when you swap windows to look at it recording, it will cause a pause or a pop in the track. Wait until you get to complete silence - or if it's a playlist, wait for the next song to begin, then stop recording.
Now trim the silence at the beginning and any extraneous stuff at the end, and you have your source file to output to MP3. If you're going to burn it to a CD, export it in the best quality uncompressed format (which you pick in the "File Formats" tab in "Preferences").
If you have to increase the volume, select the whole track, and in the "Effect" menu select "Amplify...". Audacity automagically calculates the loudest "safe" level for you to record. I usually back it off 0.2 clicks because on rare occasion I've gotten distortion from using the suggested volume level. Once it's done, listen to one of the loudest points and one of the softest points of the recording, if it sounds good, save it.
And there you have it.
This comes in handy when a favorite live version of a song is available only on Youtube. Or if a song hasn't been released yet, but a web video has. Also I put funny quotes from movies on my mix CDs, and you can find most of the best one-liners from movies and TV on Youtube and comedy sites. Frinstance, I recently nabbed the great Dr. Cox line from Scrubs: "Listen Super Girl, I'm gonna break you down into so many little pieces that my grandmother, who can do a thousand piece puzzle of clear blue sky in less than an hour, will never be able to finish putting you back together again, even if she does go back in time to when her vision was perfect." I have yet to find a home on a mix CD for that one, but I'm sure I'll find one.
Enjoy!
Oh, in other news, here's a great page on other great ways to get audio from the web - the google search string alone is worth clicking the link; it works like magic. And here's a post I did on ripping internet radio for more free tunage.
_____________
Update:
This works for DVDs, too. Say you like the themesong of a TV show, or you like the song version as used in the movie (the end of the first "X-files" movie comes to mind), you can snag anything off a DVD.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Even though Joel will probably b-slap me
What a relief to see that someone else thinks Sean Penn is a pretty average actor. Except for his death scene in "Dead Man Walking" and Spicoli, he's never really done it for me.
What a relief to see that someone else thinks Sean Penn is a pretty average actor. Except for his death scene in "Dead Man Walking" and Spicoli, he's never really done it for me.
Best Def of PC Ever
I see by googling it up that this phrase is ubiquitous, but I saw it the first time just this week in an email chain.
I see by googling it up that this phrase is ubiquitous, but I saw it the first time just this week in an email chain.
The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year a definition required for the contemporary term, 'Political Correctness'.
The winner wrote:
"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
This guy is WAY more composed than I would've been...
And I believe that is the exact sound of someone's heart leaping into their throat.
-----------------
Update:
More fun videos. Make sure your sound is on.
You've probably seen Dramatic Prairie Dog:
But have you seen Dramatic Lemur?:
One of my daughter's teachers showed this one in class. Urban legend has it that if you look closely behind the car as it goes, there's a slight misty thing that might be a ghost.
And I believe that is the exact sound of someone's heart leaping into their throat.
-----------------
Update:
More fun videos. Make sure your sound is on.
You've probably seen Dramatic Prairie Dog:
But have you seen Dramatic Lemur?:
One of my daughter's teachers showed this one in class. Urban legend has it that if you look closely behind the car as it goes, there's a slight misty thing that might be a ghost.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Pickin' and Grinnin' on Religion
Lotsa fun stuff happening in the world of religion lately.
First, we have variant versions of the Quran popping up, which by definition can't exist.
Y'see, it's supposed to be the direct word of Allah, so if there are different versions of the same thing, either one's not true, or someone made the whole thing up! (ahem)
For the record, that was the thing that got Rushdie in so much trouble: fictionalizing an event that supposedly really happened where one of the scribes changed the words that the big M had spoken, and when he read the changed version back for verification, got M's blessing on it being correct. Which implies M just made it all up.
Moslems maintain two primary things about the Quran: 1) it's the actual word of Allah rather than a diluted, second-hand collection of misreported stories like the Bible, 2) proof that it's true is the fact that the poetry in which it's framed is so good that only Allah could've been the author.
So, if an old copy of a Robert Frost poem cropped up where he stopped by the woods on a rainy evening, well that would make all the difference. 'Specially if said poem was supposed to be from God's own lips.
You can almost smell the Jihad from here.
I personally don't consider Scientology a religion any more than I believe paint randomly thrown at a canvas to be art - even if they managed to convince the govt. they are (in both cases). But Scientologist think they belong a religion rather than an elaborate monetary scam, so I put this stuff here in a religion post, just to attempt to avoid being "fair game" (assuming the above note doesn't get me fatwa'd first).
Behold: the beginning of their self-destruction that began this historic week:
First, what started it all: this great video of Tom Cruise that betrays how, oh ... pffft, zing!, HAHAHAHA!, right in there! ... freakin' vapid he is. Scientology immediately jumped on Youtube.com to take it down claiming it was copyrighted material, which of course caused it to be put on about every video service there is.
Here's a little lexicon to decode the Scientology gobbledygook Tom's spewing out of the very large hole in his head.
Then came the spoofs:
Then came the "Anonymous" war:
Is it me, or does this remind you of that truly creepy "transmission from the future" in the otherwise silly Prince of Darkness, too?
Then came the call in Britain to actually go harass a Scientology "church".

If that hasn't been enough fun, the Gawker is having a lot of sport with this.
Wonder if we'll see Scientology sink to the bottom of the cult pond in our lifetimes. They do wear nifty sailor costumes in all of their enclaves, so it appears they're prepared.
I LOVE this response to one of your basic atheist twits who equate believing in God with guaranteeing the destruction of the planet and all humankind. How someone can claim to be a brainiac yet draw that dubious conclusion astounds me. If they can make such specious leaps in logic, can you really trust their scientific abilities, ya wonder? (Though I have to admit at being impressed with their gift for delusional hyperbole.)
Finally, let's take a whack or two at my beliefs.
Speaking of hyperbole, this honestly made me snicker inside a little bit.

Let's give this a try, shall we?
Or
Breakfast
Finally, this is only obliquely, tangentially related, but I caught the tail end of a Simpson's episode where a main plot point was Flander's boy climbing one of the climbing walls, and as the episode ends we pan up to heaven to see his deceased mom and God watching him.
Bob Hope walks up and says, "I haven't seen climbing like that since Dudley Moore married Susan Anton."
The Simpson's haven't gotten a laugh out of me like that in a while.
Then God says to Bob, "I don't know why I waited 100 years to get you up here!"
Lotsa fun stuff happening in the world of religion lately.
First, we have variant versions of the Quran popping up, which by definition can't exist.
Y'see, it's supposed to be the direct word of Allah, so if there are different versions of the same thing, either one's not true, or someone made the whole thing up! (ahem)
For the record, that was the thing that got Rushdie in so much trouble: fictionalizing an event that supposedly really happened where one of the scribes changed the words that the big M had spoken, and when he read the changed version back for verification, got M's blessing on it being correct. Which implies M just made it all up.
Moslems maintain two primary things about the Quran: 1) it's the actual word of Allah rather than a diluted, second-hand collection of misreported stories like the Bible, 2) proof that it's true is the fact that the poetry in which it's framed is so good that only Allah could've been the author.
So, if an old copy of a Robert Frost poem cropped up where he stopped by the woods on a rainy evening, well that would make all the difference. 'Specially if said poem was supposed to be from God's own lips.
You can almost smell the Jihad from here.
I personally don't consider Scientology a religion any more than I believe paint randomly thrown at a canvas to be art - even if they managed to convince the govt. they are (in both cases). But Scientologist think they belong a religion rather than an elaborate monetary scam, so I put this stuff here in a religion post, just to attempt to avoid being "fair game" (assuming the above note doesn't get me fatwa'd first).
Behold: the beginning of their self-destruction that began this historic week:
First, what started it all: this great video of Tom Cruise that betrays how, oh ... pffft, zing!, HAHAHAHA!, right in there! ... freakin' vapid he is. Scientology immediately jumped on Youtube.com to take it down claiming it was copyrighted material, which of course caused it to be put on about every video service there is.
Here's a little lexicon to decode the Scientology gobbledygook Tom's spewing out of the very large hole in his head.
Then came the spoofs:
Then came the "Anonymous" war:
Is it me, or does this remind you of that truly creepy "transmission from the future" in the otherwise silly Prince of Darkness, too?
Then came the call in Britain to actually go harass a Scientology "church".

If that hasn't been enough fun, the Gawker is having a lot of sport with this.
Wonder if we'll see Scientology sink to the bottom of the cult pond in our lifetimes. They do wear nifty sailor costumes in all of their enclaves, so it appears they're prepared.
I LOVE this response to one of your basic atheist twits who equate believing in God with guaranteeing the destruction of the planet and all humankind. How someone can claim to be a brainiac yet draw that dubious conclusion astounds me. If they can make such specious leaps in logic, can you really trust their scientific abilities, ya wonder? (Though I have to admit at being impressed with their gift for delusional hyperbole.)
Finally, let's take a whack or two at my beliefs.
Speaking of hyperbole, this honestly made me snicker inside a little bit.

Let's give this a try, shall we?
Sex
The act where one animal inserts their excretory organ, which is engorged with blood, into another animal's body cavity, that is also an excretory organ which is lubricated via viscous secretions of bodily fluids that have a pungent odor, and then moves it back and forth until globs of gelatinous secretions are expelled, which contain millions of tiny things that are swimming. Grunting, moaning, and screaming are sometimes involved. Sounds like fun!
Or
Where the reproductive fluids of chickens are removed from their crushed container and heated until they solidify, served with the crushed innards of a citrus seed pod, and a slice of wheat combined with an organism that literally farts itself to death, baked until spongy, then toasted until it's brittle, and smeared with the melted viscous product of mammary glands that has been combined with a mineral and stirred so long it has coagulated. Yummy!
Finally, this is only obliquely, tangentially related, but I caught the tail end of a Simpson's episode where a main plot point was Flander's boy climbing one of the climbing walls, and as the episode ends we pan up to heaven to see his deceased mom and God watching him.
Bob Hope walks up and says, "I haven't seen climbing like that since Dudley Moore married Susan Anton."
The Simpson's haven't gotten a laugh out of me like that in a while.
Then God says to Bob, "I don't know why I waited 100 years to get you up here!"
Support Our Troops
I recently got an email from a good buddy that warned of how terrible things would be for the military if a Democrat got elected. I also work with a couple ex-military wingnuts who said they'd never be in the service under a Democrat (though I've since put together that's when they were in the service, and haven't been when Republicans have taken us to war ... can you say hypocrite?).
So, here's a little reality patrol from "Rolling Stone" Ish. 1042/1043, Dec. 27 - Jan 10, pg. 88:
Be Less Than You Can Be
How the Pentagon supported the troops in 2007
- Required that soldiers discharged early because of battlefield injuries repay their enlistment bonuses
- Sent the longest-serving National Guard unit home after 729 days of combat in Iraq -- one day shy of the 730 that the soldiers needed to qualify for education benefits
- Omitted 20,000 cases of brain trauma from the official tally of troops injured in Iraq
- Denied medical benefits to 22,000 veterans suffering from post-traumatic stress by discharging them for having enlisted with "pre-existing personality disorders"
I recently got an email from a good buddy that warned of how terrible things would be for the military if a Democrat got elected. I also work with a couple ex-military wingnuts who said they'd never be in the service under a Democrat (though I've since put together that's when they were in the service, and haven't been when Republicans have taken us to war ... can you say hypocrite?).
So, here's a little reality patrol from "Rolling Stone" Ish. 1042/1043, Dec. 27 - Jan 10, pg. 88:
Be Less Than You Can Be
How the Pentagon supported the troops in 2007
- Required that soldiers discharged early because of battlefield injuries repay their enlistment bonuses
- Sent the longest-serving National Guard unit home after 729 days of combat in Iraq -- one day shy of the 730 that the soldiers needed to qualify for education benefits
- Omitted 20,000 cases of brain trauma from the official tally of troops injured in Iraq
- Denied medical benefits to 22,000 veterans suffering from post-traumatic stress by discharging them for having enlisted with "pre-existing personality disorders"
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Atlantic Monthly
As reported on Kottke.org, Atlantic Monthly now allows you to read all of its content for free on the web.
This means you can now read the faboo article David Foster Wallace wrote a while ago on talk show hosts: Host. (Click the colored boxes to read the footnotes.)
As reported on Kottke.org, Atlantic Monthly now allows you to read all of its content for free on the web.
This means you can now read the faboo article David Foster Wallace wrote a while ago on talk show hosts: Host. (Click the colored boxes to read the footnotes.)
The four major music labels are now available on Amazon.com
(Isn't it sad that there are only four labels any more?)
I'm a bit late in posting this, so this might've been bigger news a couple weeks ago, but things just get in the way, donchaknow.
Anyway, most of the offerings from the big labels are now up on the Amazon.com MP3 store.
Thus, let me suggest a purchase of the best recording ever of the oft-covered Fleetwood Mac song "Oh Well." This version just shreds.
It was Peter Green's baby, but Lindsey Buckingham just owns the motor-scooter* in this version. Heretofore, it was available only on the CD of their live set from the 80s, which has always been too freakin' expensive to buy for one song - the set still clocks in at $23 on Amazon. Oh, the other songs are great, but the studio versions are better. However, if you like the live vibe, this is one of the better live albums out there, and (finally) reasonably priced as an MP3 download at $10.
(*my family's PC version of motherf___)
Here are some other great songs that live permanently on my MP3 player that you might like:
Captain Kirk by Bob Schneider - I've recommended this one before, but now you can just snag the single.
Rainy Season by Aztec Camera - probably the best song in this list; I never hit the "next" button when this one queues up.
Lovely Day by Donavon Frankenreiter - another previous recommendation; team this one with "Captain Kirk" above and you've got a great start to a "how jolly can ya get" CD mix.
Maureen and The Girl I Can't Forget by Fountains Of Wayne - hilarious songs, both.
Knockers, Hazel Eyes, and Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time by The Darkness - more funny.
Get The Funk Out Ma Face and Thunder Thumbs And Lightnin' Licks by The Brothers Johnson - some funk from the 70s I originally encountered on the soundtrack to Mother, Jugs and Speed; which is fortunate because out on the lily-white Midwestern plains, nothing like this was ever played on the radio until the Commodores and Earth, Wind and Fire came along. True story: I was cranking the first song in my bedroom after getting said cassette, when I began to hear thunder making its way toward me through the house. My mom burst into my room, popped the cassette out and grabbed the tape itself to yank it out and destroy it - she had a no tolerance policy on obscenity. I yelled, "Mom! Look at the title of the song!" She did, let go of the tape, handed the cassette back to me, stabbed a finger at me and said, "Don't ever play that outside." I have to admit, It does really sound like the OTHER word. Tres fun.
Love Everybody and Tiny Explosions by The Presidents Of The United States Of America - I love pretty much everything the Presidents have done, and they are one of my definite "desert island" groups; however, these two tunes I suspect will be irresistible to nearly everyone.
When I'm Gone (Sadie) by No Address - the "la doddy doddy doddy doddy doddy dim dim dim" chorus is a brilliant hook, and the lyrics are a snort. Oh, and it doth rock.
Viking by Los Lobos - a wall of garbled feedback over a killer beat.
This last one's a lark. I put some of my kid's songs (the ones that I can stand) on some of my mix CDs for my car so when we're going places they don't whine too much about the music selection. Well, if you have kids from ages 4 - 13 you know that the biggest thing right now is the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie and album. One song, Coast 2 Coast, is actually pretty catchy. So catchy in fact that I was sure it was a cover and went to look for the original, but nope, it's a new song. So, if you've got kids and want a song that won't drive you too buggy, check it out.
(Isn't it sad that there are only four labels any more?)
I'm a bit late in posting this, so this might've been bigger news a couple weeks ago, but things just get in the way, donchaknow.
Anyway, most of the offerings from the big labels are now up on the Amazon.com MP3 store.
Thus, let me suggest a purchase of the best recording ever of the oft-covered Fleetwood Mac song "Oh Well." This version just shreds.
It was Peter Green's baby, but Lindsey Buckingham just owns the motor-scooter* in this version. Heretofore, it was available only on the CD of their live set from the 80s, which has always been too freakin' expensive to buy for one song - the set still clocks in at $23 on Amazon. Oh, the other songs are great, but the studio versions are better. However, if you like the live vibe, this is one of the better live albums out there, and (finally) reasonably priced as an MP3 download at $10.
(*my family's PC version of motherf___)
Here are some other great songs that live permanently on my MP3 player that you might like:
Captain Kirk by Bob Schneider - I've recommended this one before, but now you can just snag the single.
Rainy Season by Aztec Camera - probably the best song in this list; I never hit the "next" button when this one queues up.
Lovely Day by Donavon Frankenreiter - another previous recommendation; team this one with "Captain Kirk" above and you've got a great start to a "how jolly can ya get" CD mix.
Maureen and The Girl I Can't Forget by Fountains Of Wayne - hilarious songs, both.
Knockers, Hazel Eyes, and Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time by The Darkness - more funny.
Get The Funk Out Ma Face and Thunder Thumbs And Lightnin' Licks by The Brothers Johnson - some funk from the 70s I originally encountered on the soundtrack to Mother, Jugs and Speed; which is fortunate because out on the lily-white Midwestern plains, nothing like this was ever played on the radio until the Commodores and Earth, Wind and Fire came along. True story: I was cranking the first song in my bedroom after getting said cassette, when I began to hear thunder making its way toward me through the house. My mom burst into my room, popped the cassette out and grabbed the tape itself to yank it out and destroy it - she had a no tolerance policy on obscenity. I yelled, "Mom! Look at the title of the song!" She did, let go of the tape, handed the cassette back to me, stabbed a finger at me and said, "Don't ever play that outside." I have to admit, It does really sound like the OTHER word. Tres fun.
Love Everybody and Tiny Explosions by The Presidents Of The United States Of America - I love pretty much everything the Presidents have done, and they are one of my definite "desert island" groups; however, these two tunes I suspect will be irresistible to nearly everyone.
When I'm Gone (Sadie) by No Address - the "la doddy doddy doddy doddy doddy dim dim dim" chorus is a brilliant hook, and the lyrics are a snort. Oh, and it doth rock.
Viking by Los Lobos - a wall of garbled feedback over a killer beat.
This last one's a lark. I put some of my kid's songs (the ones that I can stand) on some of my mix CDs for my car so when we're going places they don't whine too much about the music selection. Well, if you have kids from ages 4 - 13 you know that the biggest thing right now is the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie and album. One song, Coast 2 Coast, is actually pretty catchy. So catchy in fact that I was sure it was a cover and went to look for the original, but nope, it's a new song. So, if you've got kids and want a song that won't drive you too buggy, check it out.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Don't put your butt over your head
I keep forgetting that eventually everything ends up on Youtube. One of my favorite extrapolations on aging is from Gallagher, and I thought only now to look it up. Had I not heard this at some point in my life, I would've wondered why at some point my love for roller coasters turned into loathing.
I keep forgetting that eventually everything ends up on Youtube. One of my favorite extrapolations on aging is from Gallagher, and I thought only now to look it up. Had I not heard this at some point in my life, I would've wondered why at some point my love for roller coasters turned into loathing.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Ephemera, 01-14-2007
One of those trailer re-imaginings: American Psycho - Romantic Comedy
The facts on Bottled Water
Saw Bucket List
Plot and story-wise, it's your basic Hallmark Channel quasi-weepy, but starring two of the biggest movie stars alive right now.
Yes, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson give great performances, but that's like saying it's windy on Mt. Everest.
It's worth a DVD rental, but don't bother with the theatre unless you specifically dig that voyage. (At this point in my life, I prefer the environment of my own living room for movie viewing.)
One great line, though. Nicholson offers his young assistant some advice about old age:
"Never pass up a restroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart."
_______
Update:
Roger Ebert didn't like it at all. His points are valid. You start off with a HUGE leap to maintain suspension of disbelief in that a bazillionaire wouldn't just set up a hospital room at home and forgo the hospital altogether.
Also, Rick C. writes in to point out that the quote is "A combo plagiarization lifted from Robert Heinlein’s 'Notebooks of Lazarus Long' and one of Dan Jenkins’ football books."
You know this is going to be a reality someday.

(Click for full-size image.)
One of those trailer re-imaginings: American Psycho - Romantic Comedy
The facts on Bottled Water
Saw Bucket List
Plot and story-wise, it's your basic Hallmark Channel quasi-weepy, but starring two of the biggest movie stars alive right now.
Yes, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson give great performances, but that's like saying it's windy on Mt. Everest.
It's worth a DVD rental, but don't bother with the theatre unless you specifically dig that voyage. (At this point in my life, I prefer the environment of my own living room for movie viewing.)
One great line, though. Nicholson offers his young assistant some advice about old age:
"Never pass up a restroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart."
_______
Update:
Roger Ebert didn't like it at all. His points are valid. You start off with a HUGE leap to maintain suspension of disbelief in that a bazillionaire wouldn't just set up a hospital room at home and forgo the hospital altogether.
Also, Rick C. writes in to point out that the quote is "A combo plagiarization lifted from Robert Heinlein’s 'Notebooks of Lazarus Long' and one of Dan Jenkins’ football books."
You know this is going to be a reality someday.

(Click for full-size image.)
Friday, January 04, 2008
Well hell
To my immense surprise, I really like the most recent Kid Rock album Rock and Roll Jesus. When I realized this, I thought of Whisky's recent plug for Alice Cooper's latest, which I agree is another good set that you wouldn't think to pick up in the first place unless someone suggested it.
Two things influenced me to borrow it: 1) the title was provocative, and I'm always interested if an artist has any finesse in managing loaded religious terms, 2) it was getting some surprisingly good reviews.
Happy to report - even though I'm sure fundies would flip - the use of "Rock and Roll Jesus" is actually clever and not (that) inappropriate, though a bit egotistical (but of course, this is Kid Rock, that's part of his vibe).
The good reviews were right on, too. Though there is this review on the usually-dependable All Music Guide where something got stuck up the reviewer's posterior, and he inadvertently makes a good case for why it's a good rock and roll album. I kinda researched the guy, and I completely agree with most of his "desert island" stuff, so I wonder what went wrong...
Oddly, or not so oddly, I can't get folks to listen to it; and these are people who've given Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, or even the Mosquitos a try. Funny how an artist's image can influence people's open-mindedness. Oh well. Their loss.
TLD: The first time I got it from the library, the disc was missing. When I took it back and showed the librarian - kind of a humorous grouch in her 60s - she said: "That just pisses me off. Why can't they just copy it like everyone else, and bring the disc back?" Y'know, when even librarians have that take on things, you'd think the RIAA could get a clue.
To my immense surprise, I really like the most recent Kid Rock album Rock and Roll Jesus. When I realized this, I thought of Whisky's recent plug for Alice Cooper's latest, which I agree is another good set that you wouldn't think to pick up in the first place unless someone suggested it.
Two things influenced me to borrow it: 1) the title was provocative, and I'm always interested if an artist has any finesse in managing loaded religious terms, 2) it was getting some surprisingly good reviews.
Happy to report - even though I'm sure fundies would flip - the use of "Rock and Roll Jesus" is actually clever and not (that) inappropriate, though a bit egotistical (but of course, this is Kid Rock, that's part of his vibe).
The good reviews were right on, too. Though there is this review on the usually-dependable All Music Guide where something got stuck up the reviewer's posterior, and he inadvertently makes a good case for why it's a good rock and roll album. I kinda researched the guy, and I completely agree with most of his "desert island" stuff, so I wonder what went wrong...
Oddly, or not so oddly, I can't get folks to listen to it; and these are people who've given Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, or even the Mosquitos a try. Funny how an artist's image can influence people's open-mindedness. Oh well. Their loss.
TLD: The first time I got it from the library, the disc was missing. When I took it back and showed the librarian - kind of a humorous grouch in her 60s - she said: "That just pisses me off. Why can't they just copy it like everyone else, and bring the disc back?" Y'know, when even librarians have that take on things, you'd think the RIAA could get a clue.
Recent Reads
In my continuing stroll through rock autobiographies, I read Rolling Stone Ron Wood's Ronnie. Kinda dull and accomplishes the interesting feat of making the life of a big rock and roll star seem mundane.
There was one great quote tho: "I know that anger and disappointment blow out the candles of the mind."
Gonna put that one in the quotes collection.
Also scan-read Marley and Me by John Grogan as research for a project. Dear Lord, it was as precious as I feared it would be.
However, it's probably the most dead-on portrait of a certain stripe of modern American family. I know so many people like Grogan and his wife. This book is valuable alone for the picture it paints of this time for future historians.
As a book about pet ownership, I consider it a guide on what never to put up with. Pet ownership should be a pleasant thing. Once an animal goes bad, or destructive, or (worst of all) bites, then perhaps - if the behavior can't be truly corrected - it's time to introduce the animal to eternity.
If you think that's harsh of me, even Grogan mentions that in Barbara Woodhouse in her No Bad Dogs: The Woodhouse Way gives pretty much the same assessment.
Read some of the reviews on Amazon.com just to see if others felt like I did about the book, but most of the 1 star reviews are by people who don't think the Grogans were patient enough or caring enough to the dog. "How dare they lock him up in a kennel to prevent house damage!" is a common lament. Wow, folks, get a grip.
(Keep in mind I was raised in the Midwest around farmers, whose view of animals is they should be treated humanely, but they are animals and not people, and if they are a hazard or problematic, out behind the woodshed they go.)
The best of the recent lot is My Horizontal Life by stand up comedian Chelsea Handler.
I once caught the tail-end of her show on E!, and got a kick out of her lovable grouchy demeanor. It also helps that she "has a face with a view," to quote the Talking Heads. So I got her book.
She's a freakin' hoot. Who knows how much of these supposedly true stories are exaggerated or made up (if at all), but reading her is like finding the person at the party who tells the best stories and having the additional good fortune of doing it early so you're entertained all night.
Just hunt her up on Youtube to get a sense of her humor. Bet you'll dig her, too.
In my continuing stroll through rock autobiographies, I read Rolling Stone Ron Wood's Ronnie. Kinda dull and accomplishes the interesting feat of making the life of a big rock and roll star seem mundane.
There was one great quote tho: "I know that anger and disappointment blow out the candles of the mind."
Gonna put that one in the quotes collection.
Also scan-read Marley and Me by John Grogan as research for a project. Dear Lord, it was as precious as I feared it would be.
However, it's probably the most dead-on portrait of a certain stripe of modern American family. I know so many people like Grogan and his wife. This book is valuable alone for the picture it paints of this time for future historians.
As a book about pet ownership, I consider it a guide on what never to put up with. Pet ownership should be a pleasant thing. Once an animal goes bad, or destructive, or (worst of all) bites, then perhaps - if the behavior can't be truly corrected - it's time to introduce the animal to eternity.
If you think that's harsh of me, even Grogan mentions that in Barbara Woodhouse in her No Bad Dogs: The Woodhouse Way gives pretty much the same assessment.
Read some of the reviews on Amazon.com just to see if others felt like I did about the book, but most of the 1 star reviews are by people who don't think the Grogans were patient enough or caring enough to the dog. "How dare they lock him up in a kennel to prevent house damage!" is a common lament. Wow, folks, get a grip.
(Keep in mind I was raised in the Midwest around farmers, whose view of animals is they should be treated humanely, but they are animals and not people, and if they are a hazard or problematic, out behind the woodshed they go.)
The best of the recent lot is My Horizontal Life by stand up comedian Chelsea Handler.
I once caught the tail-end of her show on E!, and got a kick out of her lovable grouchy demeanor. It also helps that she "has a face with a view," to quote the Talking Heads. So I got her book.
She's a freakin' hoot. Who knows how much of these supposedly true stories are exaggerated or made up (if at all), but reading her is like finding the person at the party who tells the best stories and having the additional good fortune of doing it early so you're entertained all night.
Just hunt her up on Youtube to get a sense of her humor. Bet you'll dig her, too.
Childhood phobias
Boy, when I happed across this (#10. Novelty Drinking-Themed Toys), the ole goosebumps just flashed.
My grandparents had one of these, and I was scared to death of it. It's the first thing I remember being terrified of. Besides its face going red and smoke coming out of its ears, it would make this horrible grinding whistle when the smoke shot out. The memory is still vivid. (I still don't recall why this thing freaked me out.)
So, that got me thinking about first phobias and what caused them.
My wife's was German Shepherds because before she could talk (talk about a good memory, eh?), a German Shepherd found her diapers set out for the laundry service, tore into the bag and scattered them everywhere. My wife remembers feeling so violated. Later, they ran across another German Shepherd in the park, and she freaked. Her mom, one of the more clueless people I've ever met, couldn't figure it out, so her brother who was a mere one year older than her said, "[sister] don't like no bowwow." I find it interesting that my wife knows WHY she has the phobia. (In an odd coincidence, I was attacked by a German Shepherd when my wife was standing next to me. The thing went right for my throat, but I'm such a spazz (and I prefer the term "strong flight response") I managed to shield myself and knock the dog away in the same motion. I spend a year getting past being nervous around big dogs.)
My eldest daughter was afraid of blow-up toys until she entered grade school. It's my fault, too. We had this life-size blowup Frankenstein. It was more cartoonish than scary, and I had learned that kids aren't afraid of a lot of things until you teach them to be. When I first started blowing it up, she was having a ball crawling around and tugging on it. But as it began to take on the proportions of a person lying there, she got quieter and quieter, finally slinking over to the wall with her eyes glued on the thing. Then I stood it up. Dear Lord. She practically levitated with fear and screamed so loud it made me jump, which made the blowup Frankie jump, which made her convulse and scream louder. I couldn't get it out of the room fast enough. We ended up storing it in the basement until Halloween. Both my wife and I got startled by it even though we knew it was there. When we absent-mindedly went down for something, and flicked on a light and THERE IT WAS, it always made us jump. Our poor baby would cling to us like an abused rhesus monkey who was raised by a washcloth if we carried her anywhere near the stairs. Later that year I bought her a huge blowup jack (the six-pronged things you plays jacks with using a ball), because she was pulling herself up and I thought it'd be perfect for her to us for that, plus she could push it around and practice walking. Of course, she wouldn't go NEAR the thing. So, I am responsible for my first daughter's first phobia.
Lucky for me, my wife was responsible for our second child's first phobia. They had gotten stickers at the doctors after an appt., and for some reason my wife stuck them to her arm (or allowed her to do so). Well, the glue in these stickers was a Gorrila Glue reject, and even after we pried the stickers off (a couple days later) the stickum remained. After about a week, we decided it was time to clean it off, and I discovered the miraculous face wash for Nordic-descent folks like myself, Cetaphil, dissolved the glue. But since then the poor little thing will not let us put play tattoos on her, and she barely tolerates Band-Aids.
Alas, though, as I produced her second phobia. We were at the zoo, and she was trying to go to sleep in her stroller. She was still fussing, so I knew she was awake. A beautiful peacock walked in front of us, so I raised the blanket to show it to her, and this alarmed the peacock, so he lowered his head and squawked so loud had we been holding wine glasses they would've exploded. The only thing louder was our baby's scream in response. She can't even stand them on TV now.
Any good phobia stories from my gentle readers?
Boy, when I happed across this (#10. Novelty Drinking-Themed Toys), the ole goosebumps just flashed.
My grandparents had one of these, and I was scared to death of it. It's the first thing I remember being terrified of. Besides its face going red and smoke coming out of its ears, it would make this horrible grinding whistle when the smoke shot out. The memory is still vivid. (I still don't recall why this thing freaked me out.)
So, that got me thinking about first phobias and what caused them.
My wife's was German Shepherds because before she could talk (talk about a good memory, eh?), a German Shepherd found her diapers set out for the laundry service, tore into the bag and scattered them everywhere. My wife remembers feeling so violated. Later, they ran across another German Shepherd in the park, and she freaked. Her mom, one of the more clueless people I've ever met, couldn't figure it out, so her brother who was a mere one year older than her said, "[sister] don't like no bowwow." I find it interesting that my wife knows WHY she has the phobia. (In an odd coincidence, I was attacked by a German Shepherd when my wife was standing next to me. The thing went right for my throat, but I'm such a spazz (and I prefer the term "strong flight response") I managed to shield myself and knock the dog away in the same motion. I spend a year getting past being nervous around big dogs.)
My eldest daughter was afraid of blow-up toys until she entered grade school. It's my fault, too. We had this life-size blowup Frankenstein. It was more cartoonish than scary, and I had learned that kids aren't afraid of a lot of things until you teach them to be. When I first started blowing it up, she was having a ball crawling around and tugging on it. But as it began to take on the proportions of a person lying there, she got quieter and quieter, finally slinking over to the wall with her eyes glued on the thing. Then I stood it up. Dear Lord. She practically levitated with fear and screamed so loud it made me jump, which made the blowup Frankie jump, which made her convulse and scream louder. I couldn't get it out of the room fast enough. We ended up storing it in the basement until Halloween. Both my wife and I got startled by it even though we knew it was there. When we absent-mindedly went down for something, and flicked on a light and THERE IT WAS, it always made us jump. Our poor baby would cling to us like an abused rhesus monkey who was raised by a washcloth if we carried her anywhere near the stairs. Later that year I bought her a huge blowup jack (the six-pronged things you plays jacks with using a ball), because she was pulling herself up and I thought it'd be perfect for her to us for that, plus she could push it around and practice walking. Of course, she wouldn't go NEAR the thing. So, I am responsible for my first daughter's first phobia.
Lucky for me, my wife was responsible for our second child's first phobia. They had gotten stickers at the doctors after an appt., and for some reason my wife stuck them to her arm (or allowed her to do so). Well, the glue in these stickers was a Gorrila Glue reject, and even after we pried the stickers off (a couple days later) the stickum remained. After about a week, we decided it was time to clean it off, and I discovered the miraculous face wash for Nordic-descent folks like myself, Cetaphil, dissolved the glue. But since then the poor little thing will not let us put play tattoos on her, and she barely tolerates Band-Aids.
Alas, though, as I produced her second phobia. We were at the zoo, and she was trying to go to sleep in her stroller. She was still fussing, so I knew she was awake. A beautiful peacock walked in front of us, so I raised the blanket to show it to her, and this alarmed the peacock, so he lowered his head and squawked so loud had we been holding wine glasses they would've exploded. The only thing louder was our baby's scream in response. She can't even stand them on TV now.
Any good phobia stories from my gentle readers?
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Ephemera 1/2/2008
- Why knots happen. The other day I set down my MP3 player headphones near the power chords to the family's cell phones; 5 freakin' minutes later when I went to grab it, it was so tangled in them it took a minute to free it.
- Top 100 Science Stories. Lotsa cool stuff.
- Man, if this isn't dead-on: 50 Things Men Wish You [women] Knew. Being a guy, I can't vouch for the women's list.
- If you didn't get enough of this oddly compulsive activity in during the holidays, here ya go.
- This guy reduced 8 films down to a graphic comprised of 1 frame per second of film. Doesn’t result in much of anything stirring or useful, but still a tad interesting.
- I finally had to cave and buy the now-illegal pseudophederine (Sudafed) for one of my babies who had a cold during the holidays, and sure enough, I had to sign the FBI form and give them all my personal information to do so. I grumbled at the pharmacist that I knew it wasn't her fault and such, but back when Ronnie Raygun ratcheted up Nixon's drug war, I knew this would be one of the eventual results. My fellow 'Mericans - enough of this shite already. Let's lean on our govt. to end this silliness.
- Why knots happen. The other day I set down my MP3 player headphones near the power chords to the family's cell phones; 5 freakin' minutes later when I went to grab it, it was so tangled in them it took a minute to free it.
- Top 100 Science Stories. Lotsa cool stuff.
- Man, if this isn't dead-on: 50 Things Men Wish You [women] Knew. Being a guy, I can't vouch for the women's list.
- If you didn't get enough of this oddly compulsive activity in during the holidays, here ya go.
- This guy reduced 8 films down to a graphic comprised of 1 frame per second of film. Doesn’t result in much of anything stirring or useful, but still a tad interesting.
- I finally had to cave and buy the now-illegal pseudophederine (Sudafed) for one of my babies who had a cold during the holidays, and sure enough, I had to sign the FBI form and give them all my personal information to do so. I grumbled at the pharmacist that I knew it wasn't her fault and such, but back when Ronnie Raygun ratcheted up Nixon's drug war, I knew this would be one of the eventual results. My fellow 'Mericans - enough of this shite already. Let's lean on our govt. to end this silliness.
Holiday Movie Viewing
Black Snake Moan (and some unsolicited advice for young men)
I think that one (unspoken?) truth of blogdom is that everyone who blogs feels they have a novel lurking inside them somewhere. Or a script.
Too bad that the story lodged inside of the writer/director of Black Snake Moan broke loose and made it to the screen.
I watched the movie before discovering eventually what was under the surface. I already thought it was silly (fun silly, though), and then I listened to some of the director's commentary.
Well, before I go there, let me tell you the one scene I truly enjoyed.
The premise is that Christina Ricci (Rae) is a nympho; Samuel Jackson's wife has just left him for his brother; Ricci - after screwing half the town the day her fiance leaves for basic training - is beaten and dumped for dead by the fiance's best friend, right outside Jackson's house. Jackson finds her the next day and, while fixing her up, uncovers her reputation. So he chains her to his radiator to cure her of her <cartoonish southern drawl>sickness</cartoonish southern drawl>. (Let us pause to snicker.)
Here's the scene I enjoyed: A teenage boy comes by to take some produce that Jackson has said he could have, and Ricci (Rae) does her best to resist her urges, but he has the bad fortune of finally just opening the door after he hears her chain rattling. She gets up from clutching the radiator (her pillar of strength), rips off her top while running across the room to jump on the boy; when she does, she also kicks the door closed in the same motion she uses to jump on the kid. I laughed out loud. And I admired the dexterity needed to perform that maneuver.
So, we come to find out in the commentary that the director/writer thinks he's created this heartfelt docudrama about damaged people and their need for each other (that is, people so co-dependant that even parasites would balk at being so fused to the host). He tells a story about how he and his wife are kind of like that, how they can't function without each other, plus various other details like "safe songs" they use together as refuge from the world (hence the blues musician angle in the movie). At that point I felt like I could benefit from a shower.
While watching I wondered what could motivate someone to make such an absurd, awkward movie. I'm embarrassed on behalf the writer/director that it was an honest attempt to justify outrageous behavior because the person they're addicted to is not within clinging range. Even the great Samuel Jackson couldn't save this gobbler (from being unintentionally funny).
(Btw, if you are the writer/director of this movie and you read this post, and I've assiduously avoided stating your name in hopes you won't via a Google vanity search (we all do it), I do apologize for the harshness of my views here. I typically write things so that I wouldn't be ashamed if the person I'm talking about were standing over my shoulder reading what I'm writing. This is one of the few times I've just taken the gloves off. Sorry. I just thought your movie was a failed attempt at what you were trying to convey. Perhaps if you'd told the real story of your wife and yourself, that would've rang true.)
By the way, a cute thing happened after I told my wife how much the movie did suq. Our three-year-old was playing on the floor nearby and as any parent can attest, they are ALWAYS listening. Later, when the family was discussing which movie to watch, she suggested "snake in the mood," inadvertently getting closer to the theme than the actual title does.
The Number 23
A little walk through bad movie hell from the hack Joel Schumacher. The second I saw his name on the director's credit, I groaned and looked at the clock.
Jim Carrey and Virginia Madsen do a decent job with their roles (and it was fun seeing Bud Cort of Harold and Maude pop up), so there's that.
The movie is essentially a retread of Angel Heart without the menace and charm, not to mention a nekkid Lisa Bonet (instead you get Carrey thrusting away on top of various women).
Skip it and watch Angel Heart again.
I Am Legend
I guess I'm just gonna have to read the book.
This movie is boring, then loud, then boring again, then loud, ad infinitum.
The creatures are so blatantly CGI I just wondered if the boys and girls who sat in front of their rendering stations spent so much time in the dark they simply forgot how people look. They didn't even get to the edge of the uncanny valley.
Perfect Stranger
Glossy sorta-thriller with Bruce Willis and Halle Berry that breaks one of the biggest rules of mysteries: nothing about the actual mystery is revealed until the last 5 minutes. The primary thought you're left with at the end is "how stupid."
1408
A fun little popcorn horror movie with the always awesome John Cusack. My only gripe is gratuitous use of a dead child as a plot device. I read recently (but can't find the reference) that Gene Siskel hated movies where children where put in peril. I'm the same. The only thing that tugs me out of a movie faster is either really graphic sex (because then I think of the actors' moms, dads, and SOs) or just a truly bad movie - see above.
Samuel Jackson's in this one, and he does improve things when he's in the scene; BSM (above) is just a fluke.
Whoopi: Back to Broadway - The 20th Anniversary
Here we come to the ONE thing I watched that I enjoyed unreservedly (outside of the "making of" documentary that comes with the new Blade Runner DVD set).
This set contains Whoopi's original one-woman Broadway show that put her on the map as well as her return show sometime in 2004-2005. Both are fabulous.
If you've never seen the original, start with that one. If you have, watch it again second. It's still good as it ever was.
It's really too bad that there hasn't been a film yet that taps her ability to do a character the way she does in these shows.
Black Snake Moan (and some unsolicited advice for young men)
I think that one (unspoken?) truth of blogdom is that everyone who blogs feels they have a novel lurking inside them somewhere. Or a script.
Too bad that the story lodged inside of the writer/director of Black Snake Moan broke loose and made it to the screen.
I watched the movie before discovering eventually what was under the surface. I already thought it was silly (fun silly, though), and then I listened to some of the director's commentary.
Well, before I go there, let me tell you the one scene I truly enjoyed.
The premise is that Christina Ricci (Rae) is a nympho; Samuel Jackson's wife has just left him for his brother; Ricci - after screwing half the town the day her fiance leaves for basic training - is beaten and dumped for dead by the fiance's best friend, right outside Jackson's house. Jackson finds her the next day and, while fixing her up, uncovers her reputation. So he chains her to his radiator to cure her of her <cartoonish southern drawl>sickness</cartoonish southern drawl>. (Let us pause to snicker.)
Here's the scene I enjoyed: A teenage boy comes by to take some produce that Jackson has said he could have, and Ricci (Rae) does her best to resist her urges, but he has the bad fortune of finally just opening the door after he hears her chain rattling. She gets up from clutching the radiator (her pillar of strength), rips off her top while running across the room to jump on the boy; when she does, she also kicks the door closed in the same motion she uses to jump on the kid. I laughed out loud. And I admired the dexterity needed to perform that maneuver.
So, we come to find out in the commentary that the director/writer thinks he's created this heartfelt docudrama about damaged people and their need for each other (that is, people so co-dependant that even parasites would balk at being so fused to the host). He tells a story about how he and his wife are kind of like that, how they can't function without each other, plus various other details like "safe songs" they use together as refuge from the world (hence the blues musician angle in the movie). At that point I felt like I could benefit from a shower.
While watching I wondered what could motivate someone to make such an absurd, awkward movie. I'm embarrassed on behalf the writer/director that it was an honest attempt to justify outrageous behavior because the person they're addicted to is not within clinging range. Even the great Samuel Jackson couldn't save this gobbler (from being unintentionally funny).
(Btw, if you are the writer/director of this movie and you read this post, and I've assiduously avoided stating your name in hopes you won't via a Google vanity search (we all do it), I do apologize for the harshness of my views here. I typically write things so that I wouldn't be ashamed if the person I'm talking about were standing over my shoulder reading what I'm writing. This is one of the few times I've just taken the gloves off. Sorry. I just thought your movie was a failed attempt at what you were trying to convey. Perhaps if you'd told the real story of your wife and yourself, that would've rang true.)
By the way, a cute thing happened after I told my wife how much the movie did suq. Our three-year-old was playing on the floor nearby and as any parent can attest, they are ALWAYS listening. Later, when the family was discussing which movie to watch, she suggested "snake in the mood," inadvertently getting closer to the theme than the actual title does.
Personal aside: I was in a relationship with a nymphomaniac once. She had (and still has, I'm presuming) a strong resemblance to Christina Ricci; they could be sisters they look so much alike. So watching Ricci play one was a little eerie for me.
For all the young dudes: nymphos are fun for the first three months (presuming you're young, haven't been around the block much (if you get what I mean and I'm sure you do), have a lot of energy, and don't mind the lack of sleep), but then after that they're work.
If I were to give advice to boys on such things, I'd have four essential ones:
1) Avoid nymphos (again, fun at first, but you eventually have to scrape them off your shoe). Sex is like any transient thing that is great (chocolate, beer, movies, you name it), it's better in moderation; too much always diminishes the glory of it. Like Rita Rudner once put it (in responding to one of her friends being in labor for 36 hours): "I don't even want to do anything that feels GOOD for 36 hours."
2) Don't be a "playa"/slut/"stiff-dick-no-conscience" (a phrase we used back in the day)/pickup artist; none of the guys I've known like that have ended up well; it serves your getting laid but destroys your trust and ideas of intimacy, plus most of them got addicted to it and couldn't shake the taste for strange; and oddly every one of them married badly (some a few times).
3) If you are going to do anything deviant, remember that everything you put into your head (the one on your shoulders) stays there, and "everything is worth trying once" is a lie invented either by drug pushers or someone trying to get someone else into bed. And keep in mind that these days regrets can end up on the web to be played over and over by strangers laughing their collective asses off at you. The only thing I do recommend that's out of the ordinary is having a temporary relationship at some time with an "older woman" (at least 7 years older than you), should the opportunity arise. When you do, make it clear the relationship has a built-in stale date - not that it still won't make the ending messy, but at least you can say you were honest up front. Those troubles aside, what you'll experience will most likely benefit you a lot, and not just in bed. And at least she'll have fun for a while.
4) The girls do the choosing whether you like it or not; it'll be much easier meeting and dating girls if you pay attention to those who seem interested in you in the first place; chances are one of those is someone you're interested in, too. I cannot tell you how much angst and ego-shattering you'll manage to avoid by following this simple rule.
5) This should go without saying, but never chain a chick to a radiator.
The Number 23
A little walk through bad movie hell from the hack Joel Schumacher. The second I saw his name on the director's credit, I groaned and looked at the clock.
Jim Carrey and Virginia Madsen do a decent job with their roles (and it was fun seeing Bud Cort of Harold and Maude pop up), so there's that.
The movie is essentially a retread of Angel Heart without the menace and charm, not to mention a nekkid Lisa Bonet (instead you get Carrey thrusting away on top of various women).
Skip it and watch Angel Heart again.
I Am Legend
I guess I'm just gonna have to read the book.
This movie is boring, then loud, then boring again, then loud, ad infinitum.
The creatures are so blatantly CGI I just wondered if the boys and girls who sat in front of their rendering stations spent so much time in the dark they simply forgot how people look. They didn't even get to the edge of the uncanny valley.
Perfect Stranger
Glossy sorta-thriller with Bruce Willis and Halle Berry that breaks one of the biggest rules of mysteries: nothing about the actual mystery is revealed until the last 5 minutes. The primary thought you're left with at the end is "how stupid."
1408
A fun little popcorn horror movie with the always awesome John Cusack. My only gripe is gratuitous use of a dead child as a plot device. I read recently (but can't find the reference) that Gene Siskel hated movies where children where put in peril. I'm the same. The only thing that tugs me out of a movie faster is either really graphic sex (because then I think of the actors' moms, dads, and SOs) or just a truly bad movie - see above.
Samuel Jackson's in this one, and he does improve things when he's in the scene; BSM (above) is just a fluke.
Whoopi: Back to Broadway - The 20th Anniversary
Here we come to the ONE thing I watched that I enjoyed unreservedly (outside of the "making of" documentary that comes with the new Blade Runner DVD set).
This set contains Whoopi's original one-woman Broadway show that put her on the map as well as her return show sometime in 2004-2005. Both are fabulous.
If you've never seen the original, start with that one. If you have, watch it again second. It's still good as it ever was.
It's really too bad that there hasn't been a film yet that taps her ability to do a character the way she does in these shows.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Ephemera, 12-18-2007
In Minneapolis, the local college Muslims have claimed the "meditation room" as their personal Mosque and harass non-Muslim students who don't follow Muslim rules about segregation, shoe wear, etc.
Time to close down the freakin' meditation room if you ask me.
UPDATE: A reader informs me this is overblown, and the journalist's report is suspect. Go to the letters on the site.
I'm a big fan of the comedian Jim Breuer, and I've been hunting for one of his bits where he describes playing with his little daughter and ends up scaring the hell out of her (it's so dead-on true). So I cruise Youtube.com once in a while to see if anyone's posted it. So far no luck.
But I did hap across this discussion he had with Joe Rogan (of "Fear Factor" fame). Breuer explains about being faithful to his wife, which prompts Rogan to explain why he can't imagine ever getting married. This is one of those cases where someone else's perspective, in this case Rogan's, that completely astounds and confounds me. Imho, this is what happens when someone young and attractive takes Social Darwinism a bit too seriously and can't envision anything farther out than beyond the end of his dick.
Have recently seen:
Reign Over Me with Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler.
I continue to be impressed at Sandler's choices, and Don Cheadle is just one of those guys who's fun to watch in practically anything.
Sandler plays a guy who lost his wife and children in the 9/11 attacks, and then lost his mind.
I enjoyed it, but some of the implausibilities and sentiments will make cynical folks yack up into their popcorn. If you don't like your heart being touched without your permission (a great line said to me by one of my college roommates whilst we were watching a weepy), skip this one.
If you don't mind your comedy and drama on the same plate (and if you're secretly a Jerry Lewis fan*), check this one out.
*I contend that Sandler has claimed the same genre territory that only Jerry Lewis, Carol Burnett and Red Skelton were able to pull off with any success: pathos and laughs in just the right proportions. I also think that's why critics hate Sandler; they're allergic to this kind of entertainment (always have been) and just can't put their finger on why.
The Good Shepherd with Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie
Even though M. Blowhard warned us away, there it was on the library shelf, and I snatched it in case I had some spare time. Found it and found out that M. Blowhard was right.
My only additional observation (beyond M. Blowhard's) is I spent most of the movie trying to figure out how to describe the one look Matt Damon wears on his face through the entire movie (which I'm sure he was directed to do - or he was so intimidated by being directed by Robert DeNiro that he couldn't get past it); and here it is:
It's the same look that (I imagine) most of us have on our face while urinating - vague concentration on the task at hand while our mind is off somewhere else, but not doing much there either.
Oh, and we see them using waterboarding, so apparently American has always used torture (not that I believed otherwise).
Skip it, I say.
In that same library trip, I picked up Reclaiming History: The Assassination of President John F. Kennedy by Vincent Bugliosi.
Short version: Oswald did it; he did it a alone; his motive was he'd failed at everything, including marriage, and so decided to cash it all in.
No, I didn't read all 1,500+ pages, Dear Lord. But I did spot-read about 200. It's awfully repetitive and redundant and strident. You can use the old reading a newspaper article trick - start at the top and bail once you've read enough.
Here's my opinion based on this book, if the drawings of the photos of the autopsy are accurate, then the wounds all point to being caused by someone above and behind Kennedy's right side, just as Oswald was (and his being up there in the book repository is not disputed). And if that's the case, the infamous "back and to the side" head jerk that JFK does is really a common neuromuscular reaction to getting shot in the head, where all the muscles reflexively spasm, but the back muscles attached to the head are stronger than the corresponding chest and abdominal muscles; hence, the backwards jerk. It does look like only Oswald's bullets connected, even if there were other shooters.
However, it's odd that we don't have the actual photos of the autopsy. So they could all be BS.
So, I think we will probably never know all the details behind the assignation of JFK.
In hunting down the Zapruder film, I ran across this little bit of fun. Just like some have done with the Apollo missions' photos and footage, someone has gone through and PROVEN that the Zapruder film is all a fake. (Yeah, right.) Still, it's fun to see how far people will take it.
Surfing the Amazon.com MP3 store, I came across this lovely contribution to the pantheon of Christmas song collections. To paraphrase an old George Carlin bit (about the color of bandaids), they gave someone a desk, a pad of paper, and a pencil (and a recording studio) to accomplish this.
Note: I'm kinda crunched these days for time, so I've been letting more typos than usual get by. I will try and circle around and fix things when I get the chance.
In Minneapolis, the local college Muslims have claimed the "meditation room" as their personal Mosque and harass non-Muslim students who don't follow Muslim rules about segregation, shoe wear, etc.
Time to close down the freakin' meditation room if you ask me.
UPDATE: A reader informs me this is overblown, and the journalist's report is suspect. Go to the letters on the site.
I'm a big fan of the comedian Jim Breuer, and I've been hunting for one of his bits where he describes playing with his little daughter and ends up scaring the hell out of her (it's so dead-on true). So I cruise Youtube.com once in a while to see if anyone's posted it. So far no luck.
But I did hap across this discussion he had with Joe Rogan (of "Fear Factor" fame). Breuer explains about being faithful to his wife, which prompts Rogan to explain why he can't imagine ever getting married. This is one of those cases where someone else's perspective, in this case Rogan's, that completely astounds and confounds me. Imho, this is what happens when someone young and attractive takes Social Darwinism a bit too seriously and can't envision anything farther out than beyond the end of his dick.
Have recently seen:
Reign Over Me with Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler.
I continue to be impressed at Sandler's choices, and Don Cheadle is just one of those guys who's fun to watch in practically anything.
Sandler plays a guy who lost his wife and children in the 9/11 attacks, and then lost his mind.
I enjoyed it, but some of the implausibilities and sentiments will make cynical folks yack up into their popcorn. If you don't like your heart being touched without your permission (a great line said to me by one of my college roommates whilst we were watching a weepy), skip this one.
If you don't mind your comedy and drama on the same plate (and if you're secretly a Jerry Lewis fan*), check this one out.
*I contend that Sandler has claimed the same genre territory that only Jerry Lewis, Carol Burnett and Red Skelton were able to pull off with any success: pathos and laughs in just the right proportions. I also think that's why critics hate Sandler; they're allergic to this kind of entertainment (always have been) and just can't put their finger on why.
The Good Shepherd with Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie
Even though M. Blowhard warned us away, there it was on the library shelf, and I snatched it in case I had some spare time. Found it and found out that M. Blowhard was right.
My only additional observation (beyond M. Blowhard's) is I spent most of the movie trying to figure out how to describe the one look Matt Damon wears on his face through the entire movie (which I'm sure he was directed to do - or he was so intimidated by being directed by Robert DeNiro that he couldn't get past it); and here it is:
It's the same look that (I imagine) most of us have on our face while urinating - vague concentration on the task at hand while our mind is off somewhere else, but not doing much there either.
Oh, and we see them using waterboarding, so apparently American has always used torture (not that I believed otherwise).
Skip it, I say.
In that same library trip, I picked up Reclaiming History: The Assassination of President John F. Kennedy by Vincent Bugliosi.
Short version: Oswald did it; he did it a alone; his motive was he'd failed at everything, including marriage, and so decided to cash it all in.
No, I didn't read all 1,500+ pages, Dear Lord. But I did spot-read about 200. It's awfully repetitive and redundant and strident. You can use the old reading a newspaper article trick - start at the top and bail once you've read enough.
Here's my opinion based on this book, if the drawings of the photos of the autopsy are accurate, then the wounds all point to being caused by someone above and behind Kennedy's right side, just as Oswald was (and his being up there in the book repository is not disputed). And if that's the case, the infamous "back and to the side" head jerk that JFK does is really a common neuromuscular reaction to getting shot in the head, where all the muscles reflexively spasm, but the back muscles attached to the head are stronger than the corresponding chest and abdominal muscles; hence, the backwards jerk. It does look like only Oswald's bullets connected, even if there were other shooters.
However, it's odd that we don't have the actual photos of the autopsy. So they could all be BS.
So, I think we will probably never know all the details behind the assignation of JFK.
In hunting down the Zapruder film, I ran across this little bit of fun. Just like some have done with the Apollo missions' photos and footage, someone has gone through and PROVEN that the Zapruder film is all a fake. (Yeah, right.) Still, it's fun to see how far people will take it.
Surfing the Amazon.com MP3 store, I came across this lovely contribution to the pantheon of Christmas song collections. To paraphrase an old George Carlin bit (about the color of bandaids), they gave someone a desk, a pad of paper, and a pencil (and a recording studio) to accomplish this.
Note: I'm kinda crunched these days for time, so I've been letting more typos than usual get by. I will try and circle around and fix things when I get the chance.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Today is all about the funny.
First, I must be slipping, because it almost didn't occur to me to blog this...
I was at a toy store with MPC1, who's 11, and I go over to the register that a teenage guy (probably about 16) just opened.
They have a winged pig on a string flying in circles over the area.
My daughter says, "Jeez, Dad, that pig has almost hit you in the face a few times!"
And I said, "Oh, I've taken pigs to the face before" (riffing on the famous line from Scary Movie 4 which you can see here if you missed it - it's near the end of the trailer).
The teenage clerk had about 5 distinct reactions. At first he just looked at me while his mind was trying to grasp the fact that I had actually said that. In front of my daughter, no less (and it sailed right over her head, as it should, and I knew it would).
So I said (thrilled), "I never thought I'd have an opportunity to use that line!"
So, he giggled in spite of himself. Then he blushed. Hard. Then he looked around guiltily at anyone else who might've heard it to see their reactions. Then he laughed again and just shook his head.
I'm sure I made his week.
Funny stuff from http://www.bash.org
#829456
<TB> I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life Line.
<TB> I reached a call center in Pakistan.
<TB> I told them I was suicidal.
<TB> They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck
#823214
<Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
<Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
<Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
<Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
<dan> Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!
More funny stuff from http://qdb.us/
#118151
(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and
(+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo
(+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny?
(+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car,
(+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
(+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and
(+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .
#96097
JimBob2814: I actually tried Superman 64
JimBob2814: yes, it is.
Rawlsaur: Is it actually as bad as they say?
Rawlsaur: ...
JimBob2814: no, you're just predictable
Rawlsaur: Are you psychic or something?
Rawlsaur: ...
JimBob2814: NO I WON'T
Rawlsaur: STOP DOING THAT!
Rawlsaur: ...
JimBob2814: haha
Comment: This actually happened.
#369
<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
#61349
<SenioR> whahahah fravec! I fucked your mother!!
<@Fravec> Dad, buzz off, I'm talking to friends here...
Comment: never teach your dad how to use IRC
#12431
<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
Finally, I liked this recent run in the great "Non Sequitur" by Wiley Miller:



First, I must be slipping, because it almost didn't occur to me to blog this...
I was at a toy store with MPC1, who's 11, and I go over to the register that a teenage guy (probably about 16) just opened.
They have a winged pig on a string flying in circles over the area.
My daughter says, "Jeez, Dad, that pig has almost hit you in the face a few times!"
And I said, "Oh, I've taken pigs to the face before" (riffing on the famous line from Scary Movie 4 which you can see here if you missed it - it's near the end of the trailer).
The teenage clerk had about 5 distinct reactions. At first he just looked at me while his mind was trying to grasp the fact that I had actually said that. In front of my daughter, no less (and it sailed right over her head, as it should, and I knew it would).
So I said (thrilled), "I never thought I'd have an opportunity to use that line!"
So, he giggled in spite of himself. Then he blushed. Hard. Then he looked around guiltily at anyone else who might've heard it to see their reactions. Then he laughed again and just shook his head.
I'm sure I made his week.
Funny stuff from http://www.bash.org
#829456
<TB> I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life Line.
<TB> I reached a call center in Pakistan.
<TB> I told them I was suicidal.
<TB> They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck
#823214
<Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
<Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
<Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
<Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
<dan> Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!
More funny stuff from http://qdb.us/
#118151
(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and
(+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo
(+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny?
(+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car,
(+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
(+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and
(+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .
#96097
JimBob2814: I actually tried Superman 64
JimBob2814: yes, it is.
Rawlsaur: Is it actually as bad as they say?
Rawlsaur: ...
JimBob2814: no, you're just predictable
Rawlsaur: Are you psychic or something?
Rawlsaur: ...
JimBob2814: NO I WON'T
Rawlsaur: STOP DOING THAT!
Rawlsaur: ...
JimBob2814: haha
Comment: This actually happened.
#369
<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
#61349
<SenioR> whahahah fravec! I fucked your mother!!
<@Fravec> Dad, buzz off, I'm talking to friends here...
Comment: never teach your dad how to use IRC
#12431
<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
Finally, I liked this recent run in the great "Non Sequitur" by Wiley Miller:



Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Best of 2007
Here we are again, concocting complex justifications for abusing eggnog (wink), waiting for the fat scary guy to kick in the door and bring us our heart's material desires, and then face the one night a year where those with kids struggle to stay up to greet the new year.
We look back fondly, sometimes jaundicedly (no, that's not a real word), of things we've done and seen.
Here's some of the stuff that I've enjoyed and a couple things I didn't.
- Anything by Laura Miller on Salon.com.
Ms. Miller is so erudite and insightful that I now read anything she pens (or pecks, as the case may be), even if I could care less about the topic itself. Usually, I do care about the topic, which is just frosting. The cherry on top is her writing is refreshingly clear. I wish I had a brain as exquisite as hers.
- Roger Ebert
Since he's recovered enough to begin working again, Ebert is a man renewed. You can just feel the energy and joie de vivre in everything he writes. His reviews have become a little too generous, with a lot of movies getting four stars, so scale them back about 1/2 a star, and they'll be more consistent with his earlier work. Also, they've put up an archive of all of his shows, so you can watch Siskel and Ebert (or "Replacement" and Ebert) to your heart's content.
- Rolling Stone Magazine
Even though I dissed on it recently, I've had a complete turnabout on Rolling Stone. I look forward to the next edition like I used to for Entertainment Weekly (which has edged further into People magazine land by devoting a page to Hollywood fashions, etc., it has the egregious "anything gay is cool" slant, the cover stories are blatant adverts for the latest trash, and I originally subscribed for the book reviews, which aren't that good, especially since there's Laura Miller around (see above)) and Playboy (which lost its editorial edge about the time Hef became single again, the nudes are absurd, and my eldest discovered where I hid them, so no more copies in the house!). I got the subscription primarily because my daughter was selling them for some fundraising thing, and it was the cheapest, and I knew I'd at least open it up on occasion. But then, I took this test that points you at the movie reviewers you are most in line with, and besides Roger Ebert, it gave me Peter Travers, and I'll be damned if it wasn't correct. Hell, I read Rolling Stone cover to cover anymore.
- "My Patch" by Jim Noir (from the CD Tower of Love)
If you've seen any Christmas ad for Target, you've heard this. It's the song that has the way-too-catchy "bonka bonka bonka bonka" descending guitar riff. My whole family walks around singing "bonka x 4" for hours after it plays. In a jolt of synchronicity, Stumbleupon brought up the MP3 search engine Beemp3.com at the same moment I was researching what the song was. For the hell of it, I searched for it (most mp3 search thingys suck), and it pulled it right up. I use it all the time now. And I've ordered the album.
- "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie
This year's guilty favorite. I have no excuses.
- "Radio Nowhere" by Bruce Springsteen (from the CD Magic)
Bruce has ditched his Arlo Guthrie stuff and gotten back to power pop with "Radio Nowhere". The lyrics alone give away how fun the song is: "I just wanna hear some rhythm / I want a thousand guitars / I want pounding drums / I want a million different voices / Speaking in tongues". How cool is that?
- Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace Foo Fighters
Arguably their second-best CD ever, after There Is Nothing Left to Lose. I may be wrong, but this one's about Kurt Cobain. Even the song order and the themes follow the career arc of Nirvana. The first song evokes "Stairway to Heaven," plus there's a finger-picking acoustic number, just like "The Battle Of Evermore" from Led Zeppelin IV, so it's also somewhat of a tribute to that famous rock warhorse.
- "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne
Ok, I have two guilty favorites this year. Feel the love.
- Alright, Still by Lily Allen
Neo-Reggae and a sexy potty mouth make a great album, I must say.
- 5th Gear by Brad Paisley
Awesome guitar chops blended with a keen sense of humor. I was bummed when I heard the prettiest actress in the whole world, Kimberly Williams, got hitched, but this guy's so cool, I've learned to be OK with it. "Ticks" is a highlight.
- Dwight Sings Buck by Dwight Yoakam
Well, Dwight has always sung buck, really, but that doesn't diminish this gem. I am continually blown away by Dwight's arrangement of a song. He's probably one of the best living examples of that rare skill. (This is the first album I bought entirely as an MP3 album, btw.)
- And the Eagles kicked out a new album, which is OK, but it's no Hotel California; in fact, it's really their worst album, sorry to say.
- As long as we're on the topic of music, I have to rave again about the Amazon MP3 store, with no DRM (copy protection) on the songs. I'm lovin' this instant gratification thing. Walmart has given the music giants the ultimatum that they must provide their MP3 with no DRM to Walmart as well, so the labels that are holding out will no doubt cave within the (next) year. What Walmart wants, Walmart gets.
The venerable Rolling Stone had an article called "Biz Bets on Subscriptions" in the 12/13/2007 Issue 1041, p17-18 (here's the only ref I could find on line), where Rick Rubin and some of the CEOs of the music giants think the next big thing is "Subscription Services" where for a monthly fee, you can listen to every single song the label owns. However, it's streamed to your computer. Sorry, boys, have you noticed those things everyone has their headphones attached to? Please catch the next clue train. It's the one with the big "Walmart" placard on the side.
- Movies have been kind of dismal this year. TV is the place to be. So rather than try to scrape together false enthusiasm for a couple titles, I'll just list the whole kit and caboodle, and go from there.
First, here's what I've seen thus far (and remember, I have a fambly "assisting" me in my choices):
Epic Movie
Norbit
Breach
Music and Lyrics
Ghost Rider
Wild Hogs
Zodiac
I Think I Love My Wife
Blades of Glory
Meet the Robinsons
Grindhouse ("Plant Terror" and "Death Proof")
Spider-Man 3
Shrek the Third
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Knocked Up
Ocean's Thirteen
Surf's Up
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Evan Almighty
Live Free or Die Hard
Ratatouille
Transformers
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Cashback (original short)
The Simpsons Movie
Wild Hogs
Of those, only Live Free or Die Hard stands out as a movie I honestly enjoyed. The premise is preposterous: Hackers use govt. computer systems and networks to shut down, well, everything. I had to laugh out loud when it became clear this was the hook, because I work in government, and I can tell you there is no such interconnectedness in existence. Not even remotely. But, get past that, and you got yourself a fun popcorn movie with Bruce, the apple commercial guy, and a cameo by Kevin Smith.
These I have yet to see:
Shoot 'Em Up
Balls of Fury
The Nanny Diaries
Superbad
The Bourne Ultimatum
Interview
Sicko
Mr. Brooks
Bug
The Ex
Waitress
Next
Black Snake Moan
Across the Universe
Into the Wild
The Heartbreak Kid
Gone Baby Gone
Martian Child
No Country For Old Men
I Am Legend
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
I expect to like the ones in bold. Stay tuned, as they say.
- The best (non-blog/printed media) reads were anything by David Foster Wallace. Consider the Lobster: And Other Essays was my fave for the year. And his intro to The Best American Essays 2007 was a joy as well. He just makes me giggle. Oh, and of the essays, the highlights are "A Carnivore's Credo", "Dragon Slayers", "Loaded", "What the Dog Saw", and "Onward, Christian Liberals"
Oddly enough, I don't have any fiction that was released this year to rave about. Too bad.
- The best TV shows are "Chuck" and "Pushing Daisies".
-- "Chuck" is essentially The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes meets Spy Kids, with a liberal dash of teenage horndog. Entertaining as hell, and has some great little moments like when the female agent assigned to protect Chuck, played by total hottie Yvonne Strahovski, goes into swat-fu mode on some bad guys at her cover job at the local Wienerschnitzel, shown here:

While she's in this pose, about 20 teenage boys run in and snap shots of her on their cells. Total fanboy moment. And to prove they know their audience, the creators even have her in the Princess Lea slave bikini for the Halloween episode. For more of Ms. Strahovski, check out the fan site here.
Via a modern trend I approve of, you can watch whole episodes of "Chuck" here.
-- "Pushing Daisies" is one of the more unique things to ever hit the tube. "The Piemaker" (we are never told his name correction: I think it's Ned) has the ability to revive dead things with a touch, but he must touch them again within a minute, or something nearby then drops dead. He teams up with a local private eye to solve crimes. That description doesn't even begin to do the show justice, though, so go watch an episode or two.
One of my old faves, "Desperate Housewives" jumped the shark when they gave one of the main characters cancer. This is a soap about fucking around and gossip, playing the chemo card is just wrong.
- The Best Quote of the year belongs to that Democrat-hater Ted Nugent. I grudgingly admire the Nuge.
(Source)
And this one's been around for a while probably, but I'd not seen it until someone put it up on our humor BB at work:
Finally, here's the best cartoon of the year, especially for cube dwellers like myself:
(Click for larger version.)
If you need to keep going, here are Stephen King's best of movies (sort of) and tunes. M. Blowhard also has something for you.
Here we are again, concocting complex justifications for abusing eggnog (wink), waiting for the fat scary guy to kick in the door and bring us our heart's material desires, and then face the one night a year where those with kids struggle to stay up to greet the new year.
We look back fondly, sometimes jaundicedly (no, that's not a real word), of things we've done and seen.
Here's some of the stuff that I've enjoyed and a couple things I didn't.
- Anything by Laura Miller on Salon.com.
Ms. Miller is so erudite and insightful that I now read anything she pens (or pecks, as the case may be), even if I could care less about the topic itself. Usually, I do care about the topic, which is just frosting. The cherry on top is her writing is refreshingly clear. I wish I had a brain as exquisite as hers.
- Roger Ebert
Since he's recovered enough to begin working again, Ebert is a man renewed. You can just feel the energy and joie de vivre in everything he writes. His reviews have become a little too generous, with a lot of movies getting four stars, so scale them back about 1/2 a star, and they'll be more consistent with his earlier work. Also, they've put up an archive of all of his shows, so you can watch Siskel and Ebert (or "Replacement" and Ebert) to your heart's content.
- Rolling Stone Magazine
Even though I dissed on it recently, I've had a complete turnabout on Rolling Stone. I look forward to the next edition like I used to for Entertainment Weekly (which has edged further into People magazine land by devoting a page to Hollywood fashions, etc., it has the egregious "anything gay is cool" slant, the cover stories are blatant adverts for the latest trash, and I originally subscribed for the book reviews, which aren't that good, especially since there's Laura Miller around (see above)) and Playboy (which lost its editorial edge about the time Hef became single again, the nudes are absurd, and my eldest discovered where I hid them, so no more copies in the house!). I got the subscription primarily because my daughter was selling them for some fundraising thing, and it was the cheapest, and I knew I'd at least open it up on occasion. But then, I took this test that points you at the movie reviewers you are most in line with, and besides Roger Ebert, it gave me Peter Travers, and I'll be damned if it wasn't correct. Hell, I read Rolling Stone cover to cover anymore.
- "My Patch" by Jim Noir (from the CD Tower of Love)
If you've seen any Christmas ad for Target, you've heard this. It's the song that has the way-too-catchy "bonka bonka bonka bonka" descending guitar riff. My whole family walks around singing "bonka x 4" for hours after it plays. In a jolt of synchronicity, Stumbleupon brought up the MP3 search engine Beemp3.com at the same moment I was researching what the song was. For the hell of it, I searched for it (most mp3 search thingys suck), and it pulled it right up. I use it all the time now. And I've ordered the album.
- "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie
This year's guilty favorite. I have no excuses.
- "Radio Nowhere" by Bruce Springsteen (from the CD Magic)
Bruce has ditched his Arlo Guthrie stuff and gotten back to power pop with "Radio Nowhere". The lyrics alone give away how fun the song is: "I just wanna hear some rhythm / I want a thousand guitars / I want pounding drums / I want a million different voices / Speaking in tongues". How cool is that?
- Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace Foo Fighters
Arguably their second-best CD ever, after There Is Nothing Left to Lose. I may be wrong, but this one's about Kurt Cobain. Even the song order and the themes follow the career arc of Nirvana. The first song evokes "Stairway to Heaven," plus there's a finger-picking acoustic number, just like "The Battle Of Evermore" from Led Zeppelin IV, so it's also somewhat of a tribute to that famous rock warhorse.
- "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne
Ok, I have two guilty favorites this year. Feel the love.
- Alright, Still by Lily Allen
Neo-Reggae and a sexy potty mouth make a great album, I must say.
- 5th Gear by Brad Paisley
Awesome guitar chops blended with a keen sense of humor. I was bummed when I heard the prettiest actress in the whole world, Kimberly Williams, got hitched, but this guy's so cool, I've learned to be OK with it. "Ticks" is a highlight.
- Dwight Sings Buck by Dwight Yoakam
Well, Dwight has always sung buck, really, but that doesn't diminish this gem. I am continually blown away by Dwight's arrangement of a song. He's probably one of the best living examples of that rare skill. (This is the first album I bought entirely as an MP3 album, btw.)
- And the Eagles kicked out a new album, which is OK, but it's no Hotel California; in fact, it's really their worst album, sorry to say.
- As long as we're on the topic of music, I have to rave again about the Amazon MP3 store, with no DRM (copy protection) on the songs. I'm lovin' this instant gratification thing. Walmart has given the music giants the ultimatum that they must provide their MP3 with no DRM to Walmart as well, so the labels that are holding out will no doubt cave within the (next) year. What Walmart wants, Walmart gets.
The venerable Rolling Stone had an article called "Biz Bets on Subscriptions" in the 12/13/2007 Issue 1041, p17-18 (here's the only ref I could find on line), where Rick Rubin and some of the CEOs of the music giants think the next big thing is "Subscription Services" where for a monthly fee, you can listen to every single song the label owns. However, it's streamed to your computer. Sorry, boys, have you noticed those things everyone has their headphones attached to? Please catch the next clue train. It's the one with the big "Walmart" placard on the side.
- Movies have been kind of dismal this year. TV is the place to be. So rather than try to scrape together false enthusiasm for a couple titles, I'll just list the whole kit and caboodle, and go from there.
First, here's what I've seen thus far (and remember, I have a fambly "assisting" me in my choices):
Epic Movie
Norbit
Breach
Music and Lyrics
Ghost Rider
Wild Hogs
Zodiac
I Think I Love My Wife
Blades of Glory
Meet the Robinsons
Grindhouse ("Plant Terror" and "Death Proof")
Spider-Man 3
Shrek the Third
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Knocked Up
Ocean's Thirteen
Surf's Up
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Evan Almighty
Live Free or Die Hard
Ratatouille
Transformers
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Cashback (original short)
The Simpsons Movie
Wild Hogs
Of those, only Live Free or Die Hard stands out as a movie I honestly enjoyed. The premise is preposterous: Hackers use govt. computer systems and networks to shut down, well, everything. I had to laugh out loud when it became clear this was the hook, because I work in government, and I can tell you there is no such interconnectedness in existence. Not even remotely. But, get past that, and you got yourself a fun popcorn movie with Bruce, the apple commercial guy, and a cameo by Kevin Smith.
These I have yet to see:
Shoot 'Em Up
Balls of Fury
The Nanny Diaries
Superbad
The Bourne Ultimatum
Interview
Sicko
Mr. Brooks
Bug
The Ex
Waitress
Next
Black Snake Moan
Across the Universe
Into the Wild
The Heartbreak Kid
Gone Baby Gone
Martian Child
No Country For Old Men
I Am Legend
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
I expect to like the ones in bold. Stay tuned, as they say.
- The best (non-blog/printed media) reads were anything by David Foster Wallace. Consider the Lobster: And Other Essays was my fave for the year. And his intro to The Best American Essays 2007 was a joy as well. He just makes me giggle. Oh, and of the essays, the highlights are "A Carnivore's Credo", "Dragon Slayers", "Loaded", "What the Dog Saw", and "Onward, Christian Liberals"
Oddly enough, I don't have any fiction that was released this year to rave about. Too bad.
- The best TV shows are "Chuck" and "Pushing Daisies".
-- "Chuck" is essentially The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes meets Spy Kids, with a liberal dash of teenage horndog. Entertaining as hell, and has some great little moments like when the female agent assigned to protect Chuck, played by total hottie Yvonne Strahovski, goes into swat-fu mode on some bad guys at her cover job at the local Wienerschnitzel, shown here:

While she's in this pose, about 20 teenage boys run in and snap shots of her on their cells. Total fanboy moment. And to prove they know their audience, the creators even have her in the Princess Lea slave bikini for the Halloween episode. For more of Ms. Strahovski, check out the fan site here.
Via a modern trend I approve of, you can watch whole episodes of "Chuck" here.
-- "Pushing Daisies" is one of the more unique things to ever hit the tube. "The Piemaker" (
One of my old faves, "Desperate Housewives" jumped the shark when they gave one of the main characters cancer. This is a soap about fucking around and gossip, playing the chemo card is just wrong.
- The Best Quote of the year belongs to that Democrat-hater Ted Nugent. I grudgingly admire the Nuge.
A French journalist asked, "What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, "Are you my friend?" or maybe "Are you the one who killed my brother?"
Nugent replied, "They aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next? Who am I going to screw next? and, Can I run fast enough to get away?' They are very much like the French in that."
(Source)
And this one's been around for a while probably, but I'd not seen it until someone put it up on our humor BB at work:
Failure is not an option ... it comes bundled with the software.
Finally, here's the best cartoon of the year, especially for cube dwellers like myself:
(Click for larger version.)
If you need to keep going, here are Stephen King's best of movies (sort of) and tunes. M. Blowhard also has something for you.
There Goes My Hero
A guy just hitches up the beer trailer and drives away. He ought to be easy to catch, since he'll be wasted from now until his liver fails.
A guy just hitches up the beer trailer and drives away. He ought to be easy to catch, since he'll be wasted from now until his liver fails.
Vonnegut
Steve Almond has a nice sketch of Kurt Vonnegut in his book of essays (or blogs - what really is the difference?) in (Not That You Asked) Rants, Exploits, and Obsessions.
The rest of the book is mildly entertaining, highlights being his first experience with fake boobs and his discovery of masturbation. But, to be honest, you can usually find better stuff at The 2Blowhards and other personal blogs.
I recommend checking it out from the library for the Vonnegut piece, though.
That's something I've noticed quite a bit lately that printed memoirs and collections of essays aren't all that much superior, if at all, to many blogs I read regularly.
Steve Almond has a nice sketch of Kurt Vonnegut in his book of essays (or blogs - what really is the difference?) in (Not That You Asked) Rants, Exploits, and Obsessions.
The rest of the book is mildly entertaining, highlights being his first experience with fake boobs and his discovery of masturbation. But, to be honest, you can usually find better stuff at The 2Blowhards and other personal blogs.
I recommend checking it out from the library for the Vonnegut piece, though.
That's something I've noticed quite a bit lately that printed memoirs and collections of essays aren't all that much superior, if at all, to many blogs I read regularly.
I Want Your Stuff
Were I insanely wealthy, after I'd given gobs to groups and charities I believe in, started paying for my blog's hosting so I could offer MP3 snippets and stuff and so on, I'd have this famous old poster redone to say "I Want Your Stuff, Just Because I Can" or something to that effect and paste it up nationwide.
The US Govt. is trying to expand civil asset forfeiture (yet again) to your home computer if some company thinks you have illegal downloads.
The mind boggles. This would give corporations virtually unlimited power to harass and suppress citizens. I hope this shite does not pass.
Were I insanely wealthy, after I'd given gobs to groups and charities I believe in, started paying for my blog's hosting so I could offer MP3 snippets and stuff and so on, I'd have this famous old poster redone to say "I Want Your Stuff, Just Because I Can" or something to that effect and paste it up nationwide.
The US Govt. is trying to expand civil asset forfeiture (yet again) to your home computer if some company thinks you have illegal downloads.
The mind boggles. This would give corporations virtually unlimited power to harass and suppress citizens. I hope this shite does not pass.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Dead White Guys
This quote is from an article "Starting Out in the Evening" by Stephanie Zacharek
Apparently not everyone has gotten the memo that Identity Politics, and its implicit racism and sexism, is considered an intellectual ghetto.
This quote is from an article "Starting Out in the Evening" by Stephanie Zacharek
For years now, white male writers [snip] have been out of fashion. These are the kinds of guys we're never supposed to identify with, as punishment for the fact that their view of the world was once treated as supreme. "Starting Out in the Evening" suggests, among other things, that once these writers have disappeared, we'll have lost more than we know. Someday their books will be in style again. Until then, there's no law against feeling something for them. Understanding the human heart is an equal-opportunity affair, and old -- or even dead -- white guys have often done it as well as anybody else.
Apparently not everyone has gotten the memo that Identity Politics, and its implicit racism and sexism, is considered an intellectual ghetto.
Girl with a Big Gun
After several false starts, I've decided not to analyze very deeply why this vid tickles me.
Girl With A Real Big Gun
After several false starts, I've decided not to analyze very deeply why this vid tickles me.
Girl With A Real Big Gun
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Radio Sweetheart
When I was growing up, my little town in the center of South Dakota was a radio wasteland. We had two AM stations, one played songs that were so old that you could hear the wear on the vinyl, the other was mostly local commercials and pork belly futures.
But at night when the AM stations could amp up and throw their glorious waves out across the plains of the Midwest, KOMA from Oklahoma came in clear as a bell, and they played all the good stuff.
One of my buddies was given his dad's cassette tape recorder (one of those old mono warhorses used for dictation where getting the voice and not fidelity was the main goal), and he would sit up at night pressing "record" when they'd start a song, stopping it when it was done, tediously collecting songs. Even worse, he was a purist, so if the DJ talked over the beginning or end of a song, he would stop recording, back the tape up, and record over it. I think he filled a shoebox with those tapes.
This is how far some of us will go for sweet music in our lives.
Well, recently a dude at work turned me on to the fact that someone had made a ripper (recorder/copier) for internet radio streams that play in the Windows' best MP3 player, Winamp. You basically open it up, tune in, start the ripper, and it fills your hard drive with songs as long as you let it run. It detects the beginning and ends of songs, and if the song information is provided in the stream, it names them!
I have finally finally finally found a source for new songs by new artists since American radio turned to shite in the consolidation wars. Huzzah!
(Apologies to Mac users, I didn't research if either of these are available for your platform.)
When I was growing up, my little town in the center of South Dakota was a radio wasteland. We had two AM stations, one played songs that were so old that you could hear the wear on the vinyl, the other was mostly local commercials and pork belly futures.
But at night when the AM stations could amp up and throw their glorious waves out across the plains of the Midwest, KOMA from Oklahoma came in clear as a bell, and they played all the good stuff.
One of my buddies was given his dad's cassette tape recorder (one of those old mono warhorses used for dictation where getting the voice and not fidelity was the main goal), and he would sit up at night pressing "record" when they'd start a song, stopping it when it was done, tediously collecting songs. Even worse, he was a purist, so if the DJ talked over the beginning or end of a song, he would stop recording, back the tape up, and record over it. I think he filled a shoebox with those tapes.
This is how far some of us will go for sweet music in our lives.
Well, recently a dude at work turned me on to the fact that someone had made a ripper (recorder/copier) for internet radio streams that play in the Windows' best MP3 player, Winamp. You basically open it up, tune in, start the ripper, and it fills your hard drive with songs as long as you let it run. It detects the beginning and ends of songs, and if the song information is provided in the stream, it names them!
I have finally finally finally found a source for new songs by new artists since American radio turned to shite in the consolidation wars. Huzzah!
(Apologies to Mac users, I didn't research if either of these are available for your platform.)
Theses Boots are Made for Rockin'
Happed upon a great site that has some pretty fantastic bootlegs.
My view of bootlegs is they only help the artist. Some artists, like Bob Dylan, have figured out what a boon this is to music lovers and have released official versions of well-known bootlegs.
Until everyone else figures that out, enjoy the boots on that site.
Happed upon a great site that has some pretty fantastic bootlegs.
My view of bootlegs is they only help the artist. Some artists, like Bob Dylan, have figured out what a boon this is to music lovers and have released official versions of well-known bootlegs.
Until everyone else figures that out, enjoy the boots on that site.
Oh. Ha ha.
Until you look at the URL, this sure appears legit. I wonder how many gullable guys print this out and take it home to the lovely wife and say, SEE! YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH SCIENCE!
(I found this via StumbleUpon, and after reading it was like "no way" - then saw the url.)
Until you look at the URL, this sure appears legit. I wonder how many gullable guys print this out and take it home to the lovely wife and say, SEE! YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH SCIENCE!
(I found this via StumbleUpon, and after reading it was like "no way" - then saw the url.)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Grand Unification Theory?
Some physicists think so.
A. Garrett Lisi, aka "Surfer Dude", has cobbled together a theory that may be the much sought after Grand Unification Theory. Some physicists are wetting themselves in glee that this might finally be it, and of course others are saying snarky stuff "seems like a long shot" (who then turn away and bite a knuckle as their eyes well up).
Here's an article about it. Here's a link to the abstract; Here's the paper itself called (I love it): An Exceptionally Simple Theory of Everything (when saving this, you have to plug in the ".pdf" on the file name, btw).
I've looked it over, but this is so far out of my realm that basically I'm the 567th monkey on typewriter no. 352 out of the thousand of us trying to peck out Macbeth.
It's awfully pretty, though.
Some physicists think so.
A. Garrett Lisi, aka "Surfer Dude", has cobbled together a theory that may be the much sought after Grand Unification Theory. Some physicists are wetting themselves in glee that this might finally be it, and of course others are saying snarky stuff "seems like a long shot" (who then turn away and bite a knuckle as their eyes well up).
Here's an article about it. Here's a link to the abstract; Here's the paper itself called (I love it): An Exceptionally Simple Theory of Everything (when saving this, you have to plug in the ".pdf" on the file name, btw).
I've looked it over, but this is so far out of my realm that basically I'm the 567th monkey on typewriter no. 352 out of the thousand of us trying to peck out Macbeth.
It's awfully pretty, though.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
How to Completely Muff It Up
(This is a post about Star Trek, so those who could give a flip should surf on and save valuable blog reading time for better stuff. It would be interesting for someone to amass all the text on the web devoted to Star Trek and see what the word count is. If aliens (presuming they exist) ever found earth, and we were gone, and they had to surmise what we were like by our archives, they'd think that Star Trek was probably one of the most important things on the planet. Galaxy Quest would then be a documentary.)
I read somewhere that all of Star Trek: Enterprise was now available on DVD. I started watching the series when it first premiered, and after I regained consciousness after the odious theme song (listen to a sample here, or for the more masochistic download it here), I was disenchanted with what I saw, so bailed a few episodes in. Rick Berman and Brannon Braga had struck again, boldly going where no one is likely to go, into a politically correct future where feelings come before photon torpedoes.
Most fans feel those two - Berman/Braga - were the most responsible for driving the various series into the ground, or more precisely into a planet, with their boring attempts to tell "human" stories in the midst of all the interstellar grandeur. They also have the stench of an alternate future where Identity Politics had not been dismissed as utter bullshit before the year 2000 by everyone save those who make salaries off of it in the university system.
Another common gripe is the freakin' holodeck episodes, which were a phenomenal cheat and a way to see most of the characters in silly hats.
Even with all of this baggage, though, I wanted to see how they would end Star Trek: Enterprise, because I have a thing for series' endings when they actually have the forewarning to be able to make one.
So I spooled up the final episode and it ... it's even hard to type this ... it was a freakin' HOLODECK EPISODE! <Channeling Sam Kinison>Ohhhhh! OOOOHHHH! OOOoooh!</Channeling Sam Kinison>.
The central story is Riker from TNG using the events of the first Enterprise's mission ending to help him decide if he should tell Picard he'd worked on an illegal project to invent a cloaking device. Riker mostly plays the ship's cook because everyone talked to the cook, so that's where you learned all the secrets of the ship. So, what should have been a glorious flameout of an episode is spent in the galley with Riker cutting carrots.
The mind boggles. You'd have to be trying to make that many bad choices. Did these guys have absolutely NO connection with the fan base? Were they being perverse and punishing their audience for not watching their dreck?
I see I'm not the only one who felt this way. In that article, Berman/Braga supposedly said that this episode was a "Valentine" to the fans. Do you suppose these guys' wives (presuming, of course) would point out to them that flipping someone the bird is NOT a valentine? Or that a valentine can lead to a good fucking, but hopefully not a fucking over? (Apologies for the bad puns, but Judas on a Vespa anyway.)
Tangentally, the episode brought up something I'd noticed about the Berman/Braga era. They often had characters talk about how heroic someone was - like Capt. Picard or Capt. Jonathan Archer from "Enterprise" - but personally I never felt these guys actually did anything that seemed or felt all that heroic. Kirk did a few things that seemed particularly heroic, so I know it's possible to convey that quality. I just don't think any of the latter-day Treks accomplished it. Thus having characters gas on about how heroic they were was eye-rollingly embarrassing.
As far as I can discern, the people who own the rights to the series haven't let the reverse Midas touch of Berman/Braga sully the new movie. From what I've read, Berman helped get the idea off the ground, but has not been part of the new effort. Let's hopes so. (Though Whisky and I predict an utter bomb, regardless. Oh, it'll make money, but it will suck.)
Btw, here are pics of Spock in the upcoming film which started principal photography Nov. 7th.
__________
Update:
Be sure to check out Whisky's post about this.
(This is a post about Star Trek, so those who could give a flip should surf on and save valuable blog reading time for better stuff. It would be interesting for someone to amass all the text on the web devoted to Star Trek and see what the word count is. If aliens (presuming they exist) ever found earth, and we were gone, and they had to surmise what we were like by our archives, they'd think that Star Trek was probably one of the most important things on the planet. Galaxy Quest would then be a documentary.)
I read somewhere that all of Star Trek: Enterprise was now available on DVD. I started watching the series when it first premiered, and after I regained consciousness after the odious theme song (listen to a sample here, or for the more masochistic download it here), I was disenchanted with what I saw, so bailed a few episodes in. Rick Berman and Brannon Braga had struck again, boldly going where no one is likely to go, into a politically correct future where feelings come before photon torpedoes.
Most fans feel those two - Berman/Braga - were the most responsible for driving the various series into the ground, or more precisely into a planet, with their boring attempts to tell "human" stories in the midst of all the interstellar grandeur. They also have the stench of an alternate future where Identity Politics had not been dismissed as utter bullshit before the year 2000 by everyone save those who make salaries off of it in the university system.
Another common gripe is the freakin' holodeck episodes, which were a phenomenal cheat and a way to see most of the characters in silly hats.
Even with all of this baggage, though, I wanted to see how they would end Star Trek: Enterprise, because I have a thing for series' endings when they actually have the forewarning to be able to make one.
So I spooled up the final episode and it ... it's even hard to type this ... it was a freakin' HOLODECK EPISODE! <Channeling Sam Kinison>Ohhhhh! OOOOHHHH! OOOoooh!</Channeling Sam Kinison>.
The central story is Riker from TNG using the events of the first Enterprise's mission ending to help him decide if he should tell Picard he'd worked on an illegal project to invent a cloaking device. Riker mostly plays the ship's cook because everyone talked to the cook, so that's where you learned all the secrets of the ship. So, what should have been a glorious flameout of an episode is spent in the galley with Riker cutting carrots.
The mind boggles. You'd have to be trying to make that many bad choices. Did these guys have absolutely NO connection with the fan base? Were they being perverse and punishing their audience for not watching their dreck?
I see I'm not the only one who felt this way. In that article, Berman/Braga supposedly said that this episode was a "Valentine" to the fans. Do you suppose these guys' wives (presuming, of course) would point out to them that flipping someone the bird is NOT a valentine? Or that a valentine can lead to a good fucking, but hopefully not a fucking over? (Apologies for the bad puns, but Judas on a Vespa anyway.)
Tangentally, the episode brought up something I'd noticed about the Berman/Braga era. They often had characters talk about how heroic someone was - like Capt. Picard or Capt. Jonathan Archer from "Enterprise" - but personally I never felt these guys actually did anything that seemed or felt all that heroic. Kirk did a few things that seemed particularly heroic, so I know it's possible to convey that quality. I just don't think any of the latter-day Treks accomplished it. Thus having characters gas on about how heroic they were was eye-rollingly embarrassing.
As far as I can discern, the people who own the rights to the series haven't let the reverse Midas touch of Berman/Braga sully the new movie. From what I've read, Berman helped get the idea off the ground, but has not been part of the new effort. Let's hopes so. (Though Whisky and I predict an utter bomb, regardless. Oh, it'll make money, but it will suck.)
Btw, here are pics of Spock in the upcoming film which started principal photography Nov. 7th.
__________
Update:
Be sure to check out Whisky's post about this.
The Bridge
The Bridge is a documentary (sorta) about people committing suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.
The director filmed people jumping off the bridge to their deaths, then interviewed the families of the dead without their knowing that he had footage of them killing themselves. Thus the film has been rightly criticized as being exploitive.
But how is it as a film?
Meh.
It's slow with a lot of gratuitous filler. If you cut together all the footage of slow pans across the water and the bay and, it'd probably comprise 1/2 an hour. If you cut to the chase, as it were, you'd get a decent 1/2 hour film.
Other than the one guy who survived the fall, most of the recollections of the friends and relatives of the dead are not that revealing. Most either talk of how messed up the person was (insanity, drugs, etc.) or how often they talked about killing themselves before they really did it. The one guy who lived is sorta gripping, because - well, he tried and failed to kill himself, and is somewhat redeemed by the event. The one other observation of note was one of the last things said in the film where a guy relates how much the suicide of his friend hurt him, and the promise that if they ever met again (in the afterlife), he'd give him hell about the pain it caused him.
The jumps themselves are riveting. You want to leap through the screen and catch them. Something inside knows the finality and reality of what's on the screen.
Overall, not worth your time. If you want to experience a couple of the jumps, watch the start of the movie until it happens the first time, then watch the last chapter for the most dramatic one. But, be warned, it's not gonna make you feel anything other than loss and sadness.
The Bridge is a documentary (sorta) about people committing suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.
The director filmed people jumping off the bridge to their deaths, then interviewed the families of the dead without their knowing that he had footage of them killing themselves. Thus the film has been rightly criticized as being exploitive.
But how is it as a film?
Meh.
It's slow with a lot of gratuitous filler. If you cut together all the footage of slow pans across the water and the bay and, it'd probably comprise 1/2 an hour. If you cut to the chase, as it were, you'd get a decent 1/2 hour film.
Other than the one guy who survived the fall, most of the recollections of the friends and relatives of the dead are not that revealing. Most either talk of how messed up the person was (insanity, drugs, etc.) or how often they talked about killing themselves before they really did it. The one guy who lived is sorta gripping, because - well, he tried and failed to kill himself, and is somewhat redeemed by the event. The one other observation of note was one of the last things said in the film where a guy relates how much the suicide of his friend hurt him, and the promise that if they ever met again (in the afterlife), he'd give him hell about the pain it caused him.
The jumps themselves are riveting. You want to leap through the screen and catch them. Something inside knows the finality and reality of what's on the screen.
Overall, not worth your time. If you want to experience a couple of the jumps, watch the start of the movie until it happens the first time, then watch the last chapter for the most dramatic one. But, be warned, it's not gonna make you feel anything other than loss and sadness.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Dogs and Cats Living Together
One of my favorite commenters on 2Blowhards is Shouting Thomas. Our political views (his and mine) have this weird synergy - because they match up a lot, but he's a professed conservative and I'm a professed liberal.
While I really dislike some of the baggage that comes with being on the liberal side - such as the "Identity Politics" loonies, or anyone who doesn't realize Marx was full of shite right up to the tippy-top of his addled noggin, and (let's just say it) Hillary Clinton is no Bill Clinton - I have bigger problems with the wingnuts on the right.
To be blunt, I think the Republicans have put America at grave risk by allowing the Current Occupant to form an imperial presidency and change the laws so that citizens can be suppressed and imprisoned for no reason, and even have their belongings taken, other than someone in power says to. (If you don't believe the extent to which this has occurred, read Bill of Wrongs by Molly Ivins and Lou Dubose.) I really do feel our freedoms are in peril.
Also, I just don't understand what wingnuts have against public education and libraries. I DO understand their beef with the NEA, because I share it, but that just means we should fix or nuke the NEA. Don't deny kids a free education just because some Fed agency is overrun by nuts.
Those gripes aside, Shouting Thomas said something recently about living in a very liberal community and how it grates on him (or something to that effect). That really resonated with me, because I realized I feel the same way.
Right now, most of my close friends and neighbors are predominantly Republican. I've lived in very liberal communities - such as downtown Minneapolis and Boulder, Colorado - and didn't like it as much. A certain portion of the liberal community has a sense of entitlement that just annoys the hell out of me. It's as if we are here for the indulgence of their pleasure, and if you do something counter to that, they get mean. Their interpretation of "the pursuit of happiness" doesn't extend to thinking of others' happiness at the same time as pursuing their own. Some conservatives I know have a built-in courtesy to live and let live as long as no one's being a jerk. Some liberals act as though no one else exists, or worse, like spoiled brats when someone harshes their mellow.
This is ironic because liberals support social programs that provide a social safety net and free public education and so on - very admirable values. Seems the impulses they have for society at large don't match their daily behaviors with the people they actually come in contact with. Conservatives are the other way around; they don't like giving up tax money that isn't going to come back directly to them in some form or another - in effect, screw those who can't afford a private school or medical care. Yet, in person, most conservatives are very nice people.
I like living in communities where there's balance of political views - those are the best of all. But if I have to live in one that's skewed to one side - I like living with Republicans. Heh.
Some folks who read this will probably say, "Yahmdallah, why can't you connect the dots? If you like living in places where Republicans are the majority, don't you realize that you probably ARE one?" Donald of the 2Blowhards actually offers this as a possible reality.
Well, for the reasons stated here, I just can't get on the side of a group who - in my opinion - can't seem to figure out that if we don't educate people, and at least ensure a minimum of health care, this will result in a diminished quality of life.
Consider Mexico and our current immigration crisis. We are feeling the pangs of absorbing a people who have grown up in a conservative mecca - i.e. "fuck those who don't have a pot to piss in" - and come here because some of our Democratic presidents and their administrations have been successful in providing some basics for the necessity of having a decent quality if life.
Do we really want to be Mexico? No. I don't think we want to be Sweden, either, but can't we find a sweet spot in the middle?
But I digress.
I've always found this little bit of wisdom as true as it is funny:
Wouldn't it be nice if Republicans (though not the wingnuts, they're irredeemable) could make their political instincts match their personal polite behavior, and Democrats (though not the loonies, they're irredeemable, too) could be as generous in person as they are in politics?
One of my favorite commenters on 2Blowhards is Shouting Thomas. Our political views (his and mine) have this weird synergy - because they match up a lot, but he's a professed conservative and I'm a professed liberal.
While I really dislike some of the baggage that comes with being on the liberal side - such as the "Identity Politics" loonies, or anyone who doesn't realize Marx was full of shite right up to the tippy-top of his addled noggin, and (let's just say it) Hillary Clinton is no Bill Clinton - I have bigger problems with the wingnuts on the right.
To be blunt, I think the Republicans have put America at grave risk by allowing the Current Occupant to form an imperial presidency and change the laws so that citizens can be suppressed and imprisoned for no reason, and even have their belongings taken, other than someone in power says to. (If you don't believe the extent to which this has occurred, read Bill of Wrongs by Molly Ivins and Lou Dubose.) I really do feel our freedoms are in peril.
Also, I just don't understand what wingnuts have against public education and libraries. I DO understand their beef with the NEA, because I share it, but that just means we should fix or nuke the NEA. Don't deny kids a free education just because some Fed agency is overrun by nuts.
Those gripes aside, Shouting Thomas said something recently about living in a very liberal community and how it grates on him (or something to that effect). That really resonated with me, because I realized I feel the same way.
Right now, most of my close friends and neighbors are predominantly Republican. I've lived in very liberal communities - such as downtown Minneapolis and Boulder, Colorado - and didn't like it as much. A certain portion of the liberal community has a sense of entitlement that just annoys the hell out of me. It's as if we are here for the indulgence of their pleasure, and if you do something counter to that, they get mean. Their interpretation of "the pursuit of happiness" doesn't extend to thinking of others' happiness at the same time as pursuing their own. Some conservatives I know have a built-in courtesy to live and let live as long as no one's being a jerk. Some liberals act as though no one else exists, or worse, like spoiled brats when someone harshes their mellow.
This is ironic because liberals support social programs that provide a social safety net and free public education and so on - very admirable values. Seems the impulses they have for society at large don't match their daily behaviors with the people they actually come in contact with. Conservatives are the other way around; they don't like giving up tax money that isn't going to come back directly to them in some form or another - in effect, screw those who can't afford a private school or medical care. Yet, in person, most conservatives are very nice people.
I like living in communities where there's balance of political views - those are the best of all. But if I have to live in one that's skewed to one side - I like living with Republicans. Heh.
Some folks who read this will probably say, "Yahmdallah, why can't you connect the dots? If you like living in places where Republicans are the majority, don't you realize that you probably ARE one?" Donald of the 2Blowhards actually offers this as a possible reality.
Well, for the reasons stated here, I just can't get on the side of a group who - in my opinion - can't seem to figure out that if we don't educate people, and at least ensure a minimum of health care, this will result in a diminished quality of life.
Consider Mexico and our current immigration crisis. We are feeling the pangs of absorbing a people who have grown up in a conservative mecca - i.e. "fuck those who don't have a pot to piss in" - and come here because some of our Democratic presidents and their administrations have been successful in providing some basics for the necessity of having a decent quality if life.
Do we really want to be Mexico? No. I don't think we want to be Sweden, either, but can't we find a sweet spot in the middle?
But I digress.
I've always found this little bit of wisdom as true as it is funny:
Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers Italian, and it's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, the police are German, and it's all organized by the Italians.
Wouldn't it be nice if Republicans (though not the wingnuts, they're irredeemable) could make their political instincts match their personal polite behavior, and Democrats (though not the loonies, they're irredeemable, too) could be as generous in person as they are in politics?
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Firefox Tip - File saving/downloading taking forever fix
I use Firefox as my primary browser. Recently, as I've tried to save pictures, the save step took up to 30 seconds or something silly. I didn't remember this being the case at first, but as time has gone by, it's just gotten beyond reasonable.
I unloaded a download task bar extension, thinking its history was causing the issue. Didn't help.
So I tried to clear out the download history on the Firefox download managler. It wouldn't work.
So, I finally deleted the "downloads.rdf" file in the area used by Firefox as my personal settings. (Found on my Windows XP maching at: C:\Documents and Settings\[myusername]\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\[theonlyonethere].default).
That did the trick. So, if file saving is getting arduous in Firefox, try deleting your "downloads.rdf" file.
I use Firefox as my primary browser. Recently, as I've tried to save pictures, the save step took up to 30 seconds or something silly. I didn't remember this being the case at first, but as time has gone by, it's just gotten beyond reasonable.
I unloaded a download task bar extension, thinking its history was causing the issue. Didn't help.
So I tried to clear out the download history on the Firefox download managler. It wouldn't work.
So, I finally deleted the "downloads.rdf" file in the area used by Firefox as my personal settings. (Found on my Windows XP maching at: C:\Documents and Settings\[myusername]\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\[theonlyonethere].default).
That did the trick. So, if file saving is getting arduous in Firefox, try deleting your "downloads.rdf" file.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Holiday Season Catalogues
Pity the postal worker at this time of year as the holiday catalogues triple back strain and make mailboxes moan with their weight.
We also mourn the many trees that gave their spirits so that we can choose between 8 different nut and cheese logs (oh the Alanis Morissette irony of it all).
When we're past all that, though, we can enjoy some of the more perverse things offered for your consumption.
For instance, a pasta company makes noodles in a vast array of shapes to be used for fundraising. My wife pointed this one out to me:

She asked, "Haven't you always wanted to eat a cheerleader?" Though I can't imagine using that marketing angle around the office.
This one was accompanied by a vague whirring sound that seemed to emanate from the Northwest:

Kurt Cobain Action Figure
Now they need to make one of him spinning in his grave. You wonder who gave this company the rights to make something like this, too. I just may have to have one.
Pity the postal worker at this time of year as the holiday catalogues triple back strain and make mailboxes moan with their weight.
We also mourn the many trees that gave their spirits so that we can choose between 8 different nut and cheese logs (oh the Alanis Morissette irony of it all).
When we're past all that, though, we can enjoy some of the more perverse things offered for your consumption.
For instance, a pasta company makes noodles in a vast array of shapes to be used for fundraising. My wife pointed this one out to me:

She asked, "Haven't you always wanted to eat a cheerleader?" Though I can't imagine using that marketing angle around the office.
This one was accompanied by a vague whirring sound that seemed to emanate from the Northwest:
Kurt Cobain Action Figure
Now they need to make one of him spinning in his grave. You wonder who gave this company the rights to make something like this, too. I just may have to have one.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
In the "It Can't Happen Here" files...
Clear Channel is refusing to play any of Bruce Springsteen's new songs, even though the album has gone #1 on the charts. Here's a blog with some good info about it, and here's an article on Faux News about it (down the page, after the Britney story).
Clear Channel is refusing to play any of Bruce Springsteen's new songs, even though the album has gone #1 on the charts. Here's a blog with some good info about it, and here's an article on Faux News about it (down the page, after the Britney story).
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