Music Critics, gotta hate'em, part 685.3

Like an alcoholic bum stumbling down the street mumbling to himself, I have a favorite topic that I worry on when nothing else is more pressing: the savage influence of music critics on artists and the music scene in general.

So when I read this paragraph below recently, I said - to no one there (again, going with the mumbling bum metaphor): "SEE!"

Steve Miller: "In 1983, everything was pretty much over for me," says Steve Miller, smoking a cigar in a posh New York hotel room. "Bands like X were the big thing in L.A., and my work was being called unmitigated slop. I said to myself, 'I get it! I'm outta here! Stop kicking me, I'm leaving.' " For five years, Miller — who rang up hit after hit in the Seventies with ultracatchy rockers including "Fly Like an Eagle" and "The Joker" — went on hiatus. - Rolling Stone

I recently read Don Felder's biography on his time with the Eagles where he points out that the primary reason the Eagles stopped talking to the press was a Rolling Stone review.

TLD: Btw, wasn't much in the Felder book that you probably don't already know. I'd wondered why Meisner left, but it was just because Don H. and Glen F. took over the band, which had originally been a democracy. The only other fun fact was Don Felder worked at a shoe store for a brief while as a teen, but had to quit because kneeling at the feet of cute women, and (direct quote) "inhaling their scent", basically drove him nuts. I chuckled because it had never occurred to me that that particular occupation would be hard on a teenage guy.

But back to the music critic thing. Rolling Stone is notorious for having dogged Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Steve Miller (obviously), and other names that have persevered. You'd think they'd wonder about their track record.

Now positive reviews can have some impact, but I think all bad reviews should be read only for entertainment, then consigned to the bin.


On a completely unrelated tangent, I recently borrowed Lindsey Buckingham's recent live set from the library, and lo and behold it came with a companion DVD of the concert. Tres cool.

However, on the DVD is a "documentary" Buckingham put together on his Mac, and, oh dear, what a ... document. Fully one quarter of it are slow motion shots of walking over grass or light bouncing off water and other totally stoned footage. He plays the occasional song, too, but behaves as if he's doing it at gunpoint. The scant snatches of narration come off as Marlon Brando lost way up a river somewhere. But, worst of all, he filmed himself talking with record companies and agents trying to get a record deal. Suffice to say, his solo stuff has mostly tanked and I can see why. Outside of the first album, which I liked, the rest have been just ... weird. He behaves, though, like they're turning down the guy who made one of the best albums ever (and he did), but that doesn't mean that he hasn't been all that great lately. My point is that he must not have enough self-perception to realize that putting something like that out there just kind of makes him look pathetic. The whole of the documentary made me wonder if he's lost his mind somewhat.

The music is good, though. You've heard all the songs before, in better versions. Sometimes, though, it's nice to have an alternative take on an old favorite song so you can toss it on a CD and freshen things up a bit.

While looking up the Amazon link for the live set, I see he did land a label and is kicking out a new CD in Sept. However, the cover photo and his ramblings in the "Product Description" tend to bolster my claim that perhaps Mr. Buckingham needs to get his meds readjusted.

(Final note: He did actually name an album Go Insane, so maybe he is aware that the wheel is still turning but the hamster is dead.)

Says it all: The Repo Man is Gonna Miss Bush



I've often said that modern Republicans are a LOT like Mr. Potter in It's a Wonderful Life, even though a lot of Republican politicians spin themselves as the Jimmy Stuart character. I think this video is proof in my favor.

Holy Cow, McCain Picks a MILF!

I am convinced that a McCain presidency would further scar America and drag us further into third-world-dom and wide-spread poverty, and because of that I didn't think he could come up with anything that would help him outside of the rabid Republican base.

Then he picks a MILF for veep.

Pic Source

Da-bomb-a's speech last night was transcendent, but this veep thing is quite the checkmate. It is going to be an interesting election.

Does anyone know how to become a citizen of France or Sweden, just in case?

And now, the Republican Spin Reaction

So the wife and I watched the Hillary speech last night. My wife was really pulling for Hillary, and it helped get her "over the hump" as they say.

The thing that interested me ... well, that's not accurate ... the thing that pissed me off was every time a Democrat finished a speech, or when they would "go down to the floor", they would invariably talk to a Republican commentator. As if Democrats give a flying star-spangled fuck about what Mitt Romney thinks.

The CBS national news with Katie was guilty of this, as were the local news casts. One of the local news casts actually lined up 4 Republicans in a row to solicit commentary after asking only one question of a Democrat - and that one question was so spun the guy responding actually laughed at first, it was so Colbert-esque.

Is this new? I don't remember the past Democratic conventions essentially being turned into Republican infomercials.

Newsweek also has a slant on the wacky coverage.

Pwned

Got another one of those Republican chain emails (see below for another example), so myself and two die-hard Republican buddies batted it around like a Piñata. I just had to share.

It starts with the email that has various cartoons depicting Obama as an undeserving superstar, full of empty rhetoric, and the scandalous revelation that (gasp) he and his wife have a full-time housekeeper! In other words, pretty much every thing that would apply to McCain - a favorite tactic of the Karl Rove school of sludge. And, of course, in the tradition of a general Republican tactic to call something the opposite of what it really is, like "The Patriot Act", "Leave No Child Behind", and "Right to Work" pieces of legislation we've all come to know and love.

After the cartoons, there's this graphic of an eagle crying.


Then there's this text:

'From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. That's how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World, and fill the shoes of Abraham Lincoln, FDR, JFK and Ronald Reagan. 143 days. I keep leftovers in my refrigerator longer than that.'

Well, let's pray for the health of the person who wrote that, as even most cheeses start to turn after 1/3 of a year.

Then, one of the buddies added a postscript in a responding email:

I think if you dig deep, you'll find that Disney is behind this whole campaign. Noone else can create huge stars out of nothing that quickly.

Which is cute, but - as Bugs always says - of course you realize, this means war.

So I shot back with:

I think it's funny how overwrought these things are - an eagle crying? Puh-leeze.

I also dig the tactic Obama's a big media star like Britney, and that's wrong! Don't elect him because he's .... POPULAR!

Seems the Repubs. didn't mind it when Ronnie was the media star.

Funny funny stuff.

Which resulted in the retort (from the guy who offered the Disney conspiracy theory):

Well, Ronald Reagan was 70, with a resume of accomplishments in various fields, before reaching that level of popularity. That world was not nearly as media driven as the one we live in today.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Obama mystique was manufactured (hence the Disney reference). You don't think the DNC was wetting their pants when they discovered this good looking, well spoken, charismatic, African American (but not too black) from the midwest (via SE Asia)?

It is funny. Reminds me of Primary Colors funny :)

Now it's ON, BABY! So I wrote:

Was JFK's mystique manufactured? Not that Obama is JFK, but - like him - is articulate in a way no candidate has been for a while (the last one was Reagan).

And the only accomplishment that is relevant that Reagan had was being Gov. of CA. How is that all that different from being a senator?

Quibbles, yes. But I still think this "he's a celebrity" whining is a no-starter.

And then the guy who'd been silent up to now comes back with:

Yeah, but Reagan knew how to take a bullet.

So I have to concede that I was utterly and completely owned.

Oh well. There's still the election.

"No way, no how, no McCain"

Recent Viewings, 08-03-2008

Saw X-Files, I Want to Believe

Strait up: Fans should see it, of course. For the uninitiated, it's a tossup.

I liked it because it had the look and feel of X-Files - like the new Indiana Jones movie perfectly nailed the feeling of the old films. The music was right, the pacing was right, everyone looked like they should.

The story is a one-trick pony, so make sure you get NO spoilers prior to the flick. Once you know what's going on, you just know. And they do a great job of leading you to it, so it's quite the fun surprise (if it's not been ruined for ya).

It's OK the story is so limited (most X-Files stories typically had a few layers, so this eppy is an exception) because the REAL theme here is Mulder and Scully (who, though they are a committed couple, still call each other by their last names - guess old habits are hard to break). Scully has gone back to medicine and works as a surgeon in a Catholic hospital. Mulder has been sitting around clipping newspaper articles of weird happenings and growing a beard.

I loved the way it circled around the big questions. What is faith? (I've always appreciated the way they've handled Scully's faith. It's never been patronizing or sneering.) What is love? (Baby don't hurt me.) What is obsession? (Insert perfume joke here.) And so on.

Ebert liked it. Peter Travers liked it. Lisa Schwarzbaum not so much. (FYI, these are the three professional movie critics I read anymore.)

Though I did read something that made me go WTF? This bozo got all wound up in his review, braying "it’s howlingly offensive to GLBT audiences." Wanna know why? Because the other committed couple in the flick besides Mulder and Scully are a gay (male) couple. Shameful! They don't visit ONE bathhouse! (Said bozo does not give away any plot points, though.) What a maroon.

I think if you're intrigued at all, you should catch it sometime.

---

On DVD saw Vantage Point, where William Hurt plays the first bald president, then gets shot.

It's an average little thriller; more of a TV movie.

The shtick is we keep reviewing the assassination through the eyes of various characters' viewpoints. When we get to the end, the scenes rapid replay in reverse with dramatic whooshing sounds, and then we start over with a new character. By about the fifth time (or maybe even the third), you're thinking: crikey, get on with it.

Thankfully it's short. If it's free, or a $1, or you need to pad your Netflix queue, check it out. Otherwise, watch a better old movie again.

---

Saw Space Chimps with MPC2 (who's 3 1/2), while MPC1 and wife say the mummy sequel (which I felt I'd seen by dint of the preview).

It's rated "G", so I was surprised when a main character gets eaten by a very toothy, scary beasty in the cave of bad plot devices that everyone has to go through to get to the final destination. Mild spoiler: It turns out OK in the end (which is a pun you'll get if you watch it with your wee ones), but still.

Other than that, it's pretty straight-forward, somewhat clichéd fare. Which is just fine, since it's aimed at the tots, and it's paced so they can follow it (unlike Wall-E which has more plot twists than all of Hitchcock's films strung together). Plus when you're that little, nothing's cliché yet - other than naptime.

I recommend renting the DVD when it comes out, putting the little ones in front of it, then going to another room and watch something YOU want to see. However, if you've got little ones who are purists for the big screen experience, just claim as many as you can to be under the age of 3.

Top 10 Most Annoying Office Traditions.

Hear hear.

I don't watch the show (for some reason it seems so contrived and it just isn't Office Space), but I can agree wholeheartedly on this list. Dear God, I hate each and every one with a passion.

The one I'd add is the freakin' potluck lunch. It's bad enough that I can smell the leftovers you nuke for lunch. Please don't make me eat a piping hot plate of that crap - along with everyone else's crap - and make me pretend that I like it.

I think that's where the old valley girl phrase was birthed: gag me with a spoon.

Meh.

Wingnut propaganda just floors me.

A good buddy sends me the daily gush of wingnut email propaganda, and some of it is funny, but some of it is just ... disturbed.

Here is a sample of something going around (like an STD), supposedly by Bill Brown of the Billy Graham team. Besides being the same neocon BS we've seen for years now, it amazes me that someone can associate themselves with a famous Christian, yet belch out a list of positions that would have Jesus flipping over tables and chairs were He here in the flesh to respond.


Anyway, here's the propaganda. My retorts in bold.
________________________________

The Obama Tidal Wave

We are witnessing a political phenomenon with Barack Obama of rare magnitude.

His speeches have inspired millions and yet most of his followers have no idea of what he stands for except platitudes of 'Change' or that he says he will be a 'Uniter'.

The power of speech from a charismatic person truly can be a powerful thing. Certainly Billy Graham had charisma. Both his manner of speech and particularly the content changed millions.

On the extreme other hand, the charisma of Adolph Hitler, too, inspired millions and the results were catastrophic.

Barack Obama certainly is no Hitler or a Billy Graham, but for many Americans riding on the Obama Tidal Wave it is just like a surfer who might be ecstatic and euphoric while riding a tidal wave, but the reality of the ride is what happens when it hits shore.

Ah, we start right off the bat by invoking Godwin's Law: "once a comparison to Hitler is made, the discussion is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically 'lost' whatever debate was in progress." Starting off so low, it's hard to believe we will continue to go downhill, but here we go....

Just Some of What Defines Barack Obama:

• He voted for partial birth abortion.
• He voted no on notifying parents of minors who get out-of-state abortions.
- Abortion kills babies. That's just a fact. However, having a brother with multiple birth defects, including severe mental retardation, who lives in extreme pain because the doctors wouldn't let him die when he was born practically dead (against the wishes of my mother), and the fact that I carry a genetic anomaly that can cause this condition to be passed on, I don't want the govt. preventing legal abortions. I personally would rather go to hell then allow another human living the life my brother has. I think it's insidious that people use abortion as birth control, but taking that right away would also take mine away. This is known as choosing the lesser evil. If it wouldn't be a slippery slope, I'd prefer we didn't allow partial birth abortions. Anything much past the first trimester is barbarian. (Hell, it's always barbarian, but it's worse when they have mostly formed.) And I'm tired of this being a litmus test issue.

• Supports affirmative action in Colleges and Government (quotas).
- Affirmative action has led to quotas, that can't be denied. But, it also can't be denied that it has helped a lot of people who wouldn't have gotten access the way things were. It's imperfect, but it's mostly good.

• In 2001 he questioned harsh penalties for drug dealing as being too severe.
- Good. The drug war is ridiculous, particularly since it put a lot of people who just smoked pot in prison, and has cost us bazillions in tax dollars. Our efforts should be keeping it out of the hands of kids, like we do with booze. End the stupid drug war, please.

• Says he will deal with street level drug dealing as minimum wage affair.
- Because a large proportion of the reason behind it is just that. See "stupid drug war."

• Admitted his use of marijuana and cocaine in high school and in college.
- If someone gets through college WITHOUT trying a joint, I find THAT suspicious. And for a while in America, people viewed doing coke as benign as taking a vivarin. Now we know better, of course, but this is WAY less damning than being a draft-dodger who never showed up to duty because he was too drunk (and snorting coke). I think Georgie-boy's past has made this a non-starter from now on.

• His religious convictions are very murky.
- Bullshit. He's a Christian Protestant and has been very clear on his religious beliefs. Including disowning his nutball ex-pastor whose views are more about Malcolm X than Jesus.

• He is willing to meet with Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, Kim Jung Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
- And this is a problem? Have you read a history book? Start with Nixon - you may be shocked.

• Has said that one of his first goals after being elected would be to have a conference with all Muslim nations. Why?
- Dunno. Why bring it up if you don't know either?

• Opposed the Patriot Act.
- Good. Hope he reestablishes habeas corpus, too. This is supposed to be America.

• First bill he signed that was ever passed was campaign finance reform.
- And that's a problem?

• Voted to allow law suits against gun manufacturers.
- Hey, I support private ownership of guns; I'm all about the 2nd amendment (hell, I'm all about all of them). This was a silly attempt to fight things the way we fight the drug war. You can have this one. Bad choice on his part.

• Supports universal health-care.
- Thank God! Now maybe kids can get all of their inoculations. Maybe people won't die of simple diseases, or be saddled with a life-long issues because they couldn't afford help.

• Voted yes on providing habeas corpus for Guantanamo detainees.
- Gosh, he actually voted that America should act like America? The scandal!

• Supports granting driver's licenses to illegal immigrants.
- A lot of these emails have stuff in them that's just wingnut echo chamber shite. This smells like that. Show me how or where he did this. Not saying he didn't, but prove it. (And, btw, if illegals drive around without licenses now, what makes anyone think they'll go into a govt. office, admit they're here illegally, and then pay for that privilege in hopes of being (at least) a legal driver? Seem a little far-fetced?)

• Supports extending welfare to illegal immigrants.
- Ditto re wingnut echo chamber stuff.

• Voted yes on comprehensive immigration reform.
- So did most of the Republicans. This is a neocon/wingnut issue; ya'll should be happy he voted with you.

• Voted yes on allowing illegal aliens to participate in Social Security.
- Prove it.

• Wants to make the minimum wage a 'living wage'.
- Good. You do realize this is about people, right? WWJD? Kick you square in the ass if you were to show him this list as representing Christian values.

• Voted with Democratic Party 96 percent of 251 votes. (241 votes Demo, 10 votes Republican)
- Hello? He's a Democrat.

• Is a big believer in the separation of church and state.
- As were all the founding fathers, and anyone who's not a Southern Baptist. Why is this even an issue?

• Opposed to any efforts to Privatize Social Security and instead supports increasing the amount of tax paid into Soc. Sec. Tax Increase.
- Good. Privatizing social security would just be a windfall to Wall Street, and then they'd slowly chip away at what retirees got, then we'd have old people dieing of starvation and poverty like they did before we had social security. Social Security is a program that works, and it should stay that way.

• He voted No on repealing the Alternative Minimum Tax which now hits middle income brackets. Tax Increase.
- "Hits middle income brackets." Suuuuuure. If by that you mean someone making over $100,000 grand a year - and even in this economy, that's the way upper register of the middle class. You really can't hide the fact that the middle class carries much more than its fair share of the tax burden. I think that's wrong.

• He voted No on repealing the 'Death' Tax. Tax Increase.
- Good. I was one of those who was for the repeal of the inheritance tax because I believed the lie about it affecting the middle class, and because it smacked of taxation without representation. But, the middle class angle was a lie, and I can be convinced that a trust-fund kid giving up a million when daddy dies isn't necessarily a bad thing. One less yacht? Bummer.

• He wants to raise the Capital Gains Tax. Tax Increase...
- Good. It's income. Why should the primary income of the wealthy not be taxed like the income of the middle class? Notice a theme here? Wingnuts don't want a middle class. Unless you are a multi-millionaire, this means YOU.

• Has repeatedly said the surge in Iraq has not succeeded...which is not true.
- Wha? You've got to be kidding. Wingnut echo chamber BS.

• He is ranked as the most liberal Senator in the Senate today and that takes some doing.
- Oh my! He's liberal! Hide the kids! Roll up the sidewalks! Where's my mommy??!?!?!

</propaganda>


What a silly, silly piece of propaganda.

It's pretty clear that the neocons/wingnuts want to decimate the middle class of America. When Wal-mart feels it can lean on employees at work to vote Republican, you know something's wrong.

The jaw-dropping thing for me is they fooled so many of the very people they fucked over (that being the Republican middle class) with lies about war, how taxes burdens are really distributed, and false religious issues. Now the economy is in free-fall, and even basics like food are getting to be luxury items.

I'm glad I learned a lot about cooking cheap as a kid (the ole Irish heritage coming into play outside of St. Patty's day), because it's coming in handy now. Cabbage and potatoes are your friends. Throw in a little bacon and butter, and you've got yourself some nutritious meals.

Vurrah vurrah funneh

Check out these "comics" of recent movies. My favorite it the one for Cloverfield.

WARNING: Spoilers galore. The plots are revealed.


The philosophy section's a snort, too.

It's all about the ....

The endlessly entertaining Roissy put up a post that has caused a comment-fest unlike any I've seen in a while that doesn't involve religion (though one commenter sure tried to drag religion into it).

His premise in a nutshell: Don't get married, because as Devlin points out, many women are fickle vulgar sluts, especially these days, and men are expendable in today's society and legal system, so most will probably get tossed aside eventually; therefore, if you (guys) have to get married, keep in mind that few women are worthy, so make sure she's beneath you (in all the ways that that can be taken) or filthy rich.

I really have no interest in picking that apart (or the full version of the post) - because in the context of what's Roissy's writing about, most of it is true. I might back off of the less-than-flattering characterization of women, as it reflects a double-standard. If a society is OK with fucking around, then it takes two to tango, etc. (I suspect, like other guys, after years of male-bashing gender feminism, it's nice to see someone openly snarking back. Even if some of it is as specious as some of the male-hating feminism was (is).) (And Devlin and Roissy are both seemingly correct about the divorce thing. Every couple in my circle who's gotten divorced did so at the behest of the woman. Not a single exception.)

What I noticed is that most of the commenters have overlooked (or forgotten) one small detail: Roissy's blog is all about getting pussy. That's it. In the comments, he even reminds everyone about his definitions of alpha and beta, and it's all about how many trips down love canal you've had. (According to those definitions, I'm a greater beta, much to my surprise. Thought I'd be closer to the Omega end of things. More on that in a bit.)

He often tries to expand this into an all-encompassing world view - "Make no mistake, at the most fundamental level the CRUX of a man’s worth is measured by his desirability to women, whether he chooses to play the game or not. Pussy is the holy grail."

I say there's more to my life than strange.

TLD: I cracked myself up when I followed that thought to it's logical end and envisioned Roissy as a dad talking to his kid. There they are, on the porch. Progeny says, "Daddy, can you help me with my homework?" A babe walks by and Roissy gestures toward her and says, "No, can't help with the homework, but I could sure hit that if you wanted me to."

Now, on Roissy's blog, it IS all about banging strange pussy, so everything is filtered through that prism. It's a variant on the adage that if all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. And, as readers of his blog know ... wait for it ... he nails things a lot. Thank you! Remember to tip your waitresses! Whoa! That's not what I mean, Roissy!

Though I am a greater beta according to Roissy (and, to me, that always conjures the image of a Japanese fighting fish ensconced in a Styrofoam cup at Walmart, destined to go home to a 4-inch-square aquarium, waiting for the inevitable flush down the commode), and I have no aspirations for being a lesser alpha, because I did some of those things - cheated, slept around, etc. - and I didn't like what it did to my soul. The trade-off for a half-hour of biological ecstasy just proved to be too dear for me.

And here's one reason why, to give an example: during a college break, the four of us remaining on the dorm floor (too poor to go anywhere), hit our favorite bar for some chat and 12 oz. curls. There were three of us guys and one of the girls. A pleasant chat was had by all. One of the topics was fuck buddies, or "friends with benefits." Even the gal at the table was chiming in on the affirmative how nice it would be to have someone you could call for a quickie with no strings. Well, the other two guys got up to play a game of pool, so I turned to the lady and said, "So, are you serious? You'd be up for that?" So there I was a couple (long) hours later, knocking on the door to her dorm room (which we had chosen because everyone else around her was gone).

The next day I was Uncle Remus sauntering off down the animated blvd., whistling "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah," with the little cartoon things bobbing around my shoulders (or they were probably just hallucinations from a complete lack of sleep). But during breakfast came the time for another cartoon archetype; the little devil and angle appeared on each shoulder with a "poof." Angel inquires: was it fun? Devil says: hell yeah! Angel says: I wasn't asking you. I say (not out loud of course): dammit anyway, even though there were no strings, supposedly no consequences, I still feel ... wrong somehow.

And, I've always had that slightly soul-dragging sensation after the few one-night-stands I've had in my life.

Then I cheated on a girlfriend, and that felt like hell (after the fun part, natch). So, I'm just one of those who can't ignore the emotional and whatever-the-hell-it-is that creates a [can't be defined] connection, wanted or not, with someone you have sex with.

During a college bull session, one guy said that one religion believes (and I've never discovered which one it was, if there is one like this at all), that every person you have sex with will be joined to you, and will essentially be your spouse in the afterlife. (He put it in male-centric terms though: every chick you screw will become your wife in the afterlife for all eternity.) The color drained out of many faces at the thought. I, of course, think that's total bullshit, but it does come close to evoking the sensation I'm trying (and doing very badly) to evoke in the previous two paragraphs.

Getting back to Roissy's view of the world ... that's just not a world I want to live in. However, I'm not going to go so far as to say that MY view of the world is what will work for everyone.

Y'know, cheers to the Roissy's of the world, and the woman bedded by them. Hey, you go girl, for the girls who like to hit the maypole whenever and with whomever they please.

I'm a little hesitant to wave the pom poms for folks who are encouraged to cheat on their spouses, particularly when a corporation is cynically trying to cash in on it:
(Note the guy is no real gift to humanity either.)

When you begin to hurt others, well, that's bad.

---

To take things in a different direction, one thread that blossomed in the comments to the Roissy post is what constitutes a pretty woman. "El Guapo" offered a rundown in comments 132 and 160.

I really have no retorts regarding those, but serendipitously/synchronicitiously I happed across this fantastic article that reports the results of actual research about what men prefer about women's looks, and women's (inaccurate) assessment of what men like. I can whole-heartedly agree with this article. (And I'm gonna get a nice color printout of the opening graphic and hang that sucker on da wall.)

Roissy's always talking about how hot (or not) someone is, and how perfect (or not) their body is. (Again, no hating on Roissy; it's his life.)

I have a different perspective on that. When I was a teen, I was fixated on perfect bodies for a short while - the more perfect, the more alluring. But as I aged, and actually got some experience with the lovely variety that's out there, I kinda turned into that guy in the James Brown song "Mother Popcorn":

Some like'em fat, some like'em tall
Some like'em short, skinny legs and all
I like'em all, huh, I like'em proud

I like'em all. My only exceptions are 1) morbid obesity (see Good Luck Chuck for a hilarious example (slightly NSFW) of that), or 2) a pervasive funk (some peoples just smell bad all the time, nothin' they can do).

---

One final note, again in what might be serendipitously/synchronicitiously, an article on where the singles are popped up on the web this week. So, for those of you who are still looking for THE ONE, here are the places where the odds are for ya rather than against ya.

One cynical note, though. I note that Berkeley, Boston, Boulder, and Minneapolis are high on the list, and I bet I know why. Every one of those places is home to a major university AND those universities have overly strong Identity Politics depts. whose sole job is to turn perfectly nice people into haters and bigots in order to create a better world. A good proportion of the women you meet in those towns are hard-core man-haters, and good proportion of the guys are emasculated sensitive new-age guys, so that might explain the higher numbers of lonely hearts. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Those are places where Roissy's "game" might come in handy.

This is just hilarious, imho.

He's funny, but she's funnier in her reaction.

Dragon's Lair

In the very late 70s, when video game arcades were big, along came this wild thing called "Dragon's Lair." It was essentially a cartoon you played. Don Bluth studios - a group of animators who'd defected from Disney - came up with the idea and animated it. (They also did the great Secret of NIMH.)

It had a joystick and a button. You moved the joystick in the direction you were told to go, and you pulled the sword to attack via the button. It was very hard. I don't know anyone who ever got to the end. (It was 50 cents a play - very pricey for the day.) I heard rumors of rumors that someone had, but still assumed no one really had.

So, without further ado, here is the end of that famous game - the part where you enter the Dragon's Lair. I included the start, too, for continuity - and for the guys who loved this game, as it brings back the memories of all that wasted money and time.

(Apologies for the audio being so out of phase. I'll work on it and try to get a better version. There are only a few lines anyway, the rest is just sound effects. Enjoy!
Update: Apologies, can't get the sound better. As you're watching, note the little pause/jumps that occur when Our Hero is supposed to do something. Each time one of those happens, the sound drags further and further behind.)

Discovery of Cool Tunage

Whilst hunting for something else, I bumped into these compilations on Amazon MP3:

Little Steven's Underground Garage presents The Coolest Songs in the World!
Volumes: three, four, five, and (soon to be released) six.

They live up to their title. I didn't get the whole album, just culled the ones I wanted.

_______
Update:
Having listened to these for a couple days, the fambly and I think this little inadvertant call and response mini-opera from Vol. 5 is the pick of the litter:

3. Hot Girls In Good Moods - Butch Walker and the Lets Go Out Tonites
4. Because I'm Awesome - The Dollyrots
11. Ain't So Cool - Hell on Heels

Here's the vid for the Dollyrots tunes:

_______

And if you're looking for can't-miss singles, here ya go (and I may be repeating myself):
- Helen Says by Hank
- She Came On by Super Deluxe
- Woke Up Laughing by Robert Palmer
- Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand by Primitive Radio Gods

Between the compilations and those four, you should be able to put together a pretty rockin' road trip (or commute) CD.

Cheers.

It is to laugh...

#857578

jess: So whats the difference between the mormons and the muslims??
jess: The mormons want their 72 virgins now

Batman II (or VI if you count all live-action movies)

Great movie. Too long. But, for once, the length is needed and not much noticed by anything other than your bladder. It's essentially two stories, but the story arc covers both stories, so I can see how they didn't want to break it up into two shorter movies.

Hey, beyond that, it's everything they say it is.

Particularly Heath Ledger's turn as the Joker. Wow. It truly is an amazing performance. It would be nice to know how much was in the script and how much Ledger brought to it.

For instance, in American Pie, the speech patterns of the character Michelle - the sweetheart band nerd who ends up being the star in the sequels (played by Alyson Hannigan) - are actually in the script:

       MICHELLE
Oh! And then this one time? At band camp? I stuck a flute in my pussy.

The question marks are where she raises her voice at the end of every line, even though she's not asking questions.

However, the famous line she says while slapping her boyfriend during sex - "Say my name, bitch!" - was an ad-lib on her part.

Thus, one of the most distinctive aspects of her character was on the page, but one of the best parts of the performance came from the actress.

Wherever it comes from, Ledger's Joker is riveting and worth seeing the move for, alone.

Btw, I could be wrong, but I think the creative forces behind the film also put in a nudge, nudge, wink, wink in-joke for the theatrical audience. I don't know about you, but these days when I go to a major studio spectacle, especially a sci-fi or comic book flick, the volume of the surrounds can cause your coke to froth up and spray out the straw if you haven't taken a few precautionary sips. In one scene, Bruce Wayne is doing a ballistics test with a robot gun, which just BOOMS - the whole audience wobbles like they're foosball dummies during an intense game. Alfred says, "I don't think it's loud enough, sir." Ha ha.

For all the majesty, yet again there's no real need to catch this on the wide screen. I think directors have either been given the directive, or have simply unconsciously adapted to, the fact that most folks see their films on DVD, and direct for that aspect.

That said, you still probably don't want to wait that long to see it.

The Reason for God

I've been salting my reading list with a lot of good books regarding Christianity and responses to the recent spate of fundamentalist atheist attacks on Christianity (because, let's face it, the popular books by atheists these days really all go after Christianity, and are not so much about the debate about whether God exists or not, as they claim).

The best one, hands down, is The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller.

This is the book I've been waiting for someone to write for a long, long time. Only, C.S. Lewis is a better apologist, but now I'd recommend him AFTER this particular book, only because this one cuts to the chase on so many topics, and it's more accessible to the average American as the style is straightforward American English (as opposed to Lewis' very learned, early 20th century British prose).

This is the one I'd hand to people who are honestly interested in what real Christianity is about, and what our beliefs really are. (Though Keller does recuse himself at the beginning that his views are going to skew protestant as he is one, yet he makes a case that everything he says would not conflict with Roman Catholic or Greek Orthodox views.)

This is the one I'd had to the dabblers, the Buddhists-because-they-don't-require-a-stance Buddhists, the agnostics, and the atheists who are open-minded.

And I'd particularly hand it to the fans of any of the "unholy trinity" (see below).

To give you a taste, here are some excerpts; they are long and there's more to this post after them, so scroll down if they do not interest:

The Gospels were written relatively soon after Christ's death and subsequent resurrection using the testimonies of actual witnesses, as opposed to the current popular public trope that they didn't hit papyrus until long after the events occurred and after they'd been mythologized (or borrowed from other mythologies):


Here's a fun passage about the character of Christians, particularly those with "character flaws" (or, the answer to "why are some of the Christians I know so deeply fucked up?"):


What about those fanatical Christians? The ones who hold up placards listing all the things God supposedly hates and who tell everyone else they're bound for hell (hint: "they are not Christian enough"):


Christian treatment of women, in the context of the culture of the time:


An intriguing definition of what sin really is:


If you're ever going to read a book about true Christianity, (outside of the Bible), Keller's The Reason for God should be it.

---

Then there's The Jesus Legend: A Case for the Historical Reliability of the Synoptic Jesus Tradition by Paul Rhodes Eddy (Author), Gregory A. Boyd.

Now, this book is a pretty hardcore academic exploration of the validity of the Gospels. If what Keller proffers is just not enough for you, and you still want darned good proof that the Gospels are a historical account of actual events, this is the book for you.

Be warned though, it has all the grace and charm of highly academic tomes: overly complex grammatical constructions (meaning you'll have to re-read many sentences a few times to grasp them, probably with a look much like this on your face)...

...passages that would lull someone whose genitals are actively on fire to sleep, and exhaustive analysis of every wrinkle on the idea.

But, if you want proof, here it is.

---

I've read two direct challenges to the Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens books.

The first one, The Irrational Atheist: Dissecting the Unholy Trinity of Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens by Vox Day, pretty much takes them apart on their own turf. Day is a believer, but states at the outset he has no interest in converting anyone to Christianity; he just wants to knock down the atheist screeds.

I think he does a decent job, but he does stay in the sandbox of arguing with the atheists on their own terms. This is both a good and bad thing; while he disarms them and puts his point to their little hears with a valiant cry of "touché!", he does not (usually) step back further and examine how the arguments themselves are bogus. (Btw, please consider that a very faint damning. It's still efficacious, and it's something I don't have the wit to do myself. Just like a tone-deaf music fan (which I am), I can hear, understand, and appreciate the melody, even if I can't sing it myself.)

It was a fun read. To get an idea of his style, and if you just need yet another well-written blog to visit regularly, here's his blog (and his "main" site).

---

While Vox is entertaining, David Berlinski in The Devil's Delusion: Atheism and Its Scientific Pretensions is a fucking crackup. Berlinski is witty. (When was the last time you read a book that was witty?)

I laughed. Hard. My wife had to endure out-load readings of particularly snappy retorts.

Perhaps most interesting to atheists and other non-Christians, Berlinski isn't a Christian, or even necessarily a believer in God, but (like Vox) was annoyed by the fact the "unholy three" were just polemics that claimed to be on the side of science, while actually not doing a very good job of handling the whole science side of the argument very well.

I particularly enjoyed the sections on physics guys confronting the evidence that the universe had a beginning, which implies something outside of it started it all, and all the writhing they've done to try to get past that one fact - stuff like string theory and alternate universes. A couple years back it became clear to me that all theories for multiple universes are nothing more than a (pathetic and silly) attempt to provide a model of a universe with a clear beginning that wouldn't involve an entity who created it, and/or to address the sheer odds against anything like our universe coming into existence with the strict tolerances necessary to allow the formation of stars and the rise of life on planets. (To be fair, reportedly, a good half of all physicists don't have a problem with the implications of the discoveries that point toward a primary mover, and many believe in such a thing.)

So, you get two, two, two books in one: a stand-up comedian's educated take on the silliness of some scientific and philosophical stances that are nothing more than whistling in the dark, and a clear description of those very theories - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

(TLD: the wiki article linked above really really tries to make Berlinski look bad. What's funny is that his stance is consistent: he doesn't accept unproven "scientific" theories on faith anymore than he does religious claims. He's everyone's skeptic. I'll admit that his relationship with the wingnut attack shrew, Ann Coulter, makes me hoist an eyebrow, but we all have friends that don't fit conveniently into the approval criteria of our other friends. Personally, I think evolution is a pretty sound theory (having waffled on my feelings about it a while ago), but things like the Cambrian Explosion are pretty hard to overlook, much like the Big Bang is hard to ignore. Plus, evolution has never struck me as being mutually exclusive of the idea of God creating everything; it certainly could've been the mechanism He used to create humans. Given some of our more egregious behaviors, it makes some sense, actually.)

Experiment: The Resurrectionist by Jack O'Connell, part 4, the end.

This is an experiment in commenting on a book while I'm reading it.
Part 1 is here.
Part 2 is here.
Part 3 is here.

Progress: Finished 103 - 304.

Sigh.

I have fallen victim to yet another literary novel, and I even knew it when it was happening. It's the same feeling as waking up (when you're single) and suddenly realizing there's someone in bed with you, and your memory informs you you've done a drunken hookup - again. You can't blame the beer.

It turns out the comics are not the boy's dreams. (Spoiler below.)

It turns out everything is shite in the world of the novel.

It turns out that a gang of sociopathic bikers are the key to salvation.

It turns out (again) that literary novels can only end in tragedy.

The one truly positive thing I can say about this novel is the characterizations are very good. If the author could now put together a boss plot, grow a bit of a sense of humor, and not fall for the illusion of cynicism*, he'd be awesome. Let's hope, shall we?

*"To be cynical is not the same as avoiding illusion, for cynicism is just another kind of illusion. All formulas for meeting life - even many philosophies - are illusion. Cynicism is a trashy illusion."
- Robertson Davies, from The Manticore

Verdict on experiment: Meh. I think it's better to wait and review it all at once.


*****SPOILER ALERT******MAIN PLOT POINT REVEALED****TURN AWAY NOW IF YOU'RE GONNA READ THE BOOK*****











Alright.

It turns out that the comics are what caused the accident that put the boy in a coma, which led to the suicide of the mother/wife. The boy gets to the end of the very last comic and all the freaks are miraculously healed except for the lead freak "Chicken Boy". Then the author of the comic ends the book with a quote informing the reader that not all stories have a happy ending.

The boy flips out and starts tearing up the comics, then moves on to tearing up his room (anything to do with the comics - the sheets, the wallpaper, etc.), then he smashes the mirror in his parent's room. When he's just tearing up his room the mother tries to intervene, and the boy slaps her and runs away. After he smashes the mirror, she tries to grab him and he punches her across the face. Out of rage and fear, she jabs him back with an uppercut that knocks him down the stairs where he lands at the bottom with the head injury that puts him in the coma.

Of course, mom kills herself out of guilt.

During a drug trip with a mixture that includes the boy's cranial fluid (long story), the father has a post-coma conversation with the son and discovers that the boy wasn't angry about Chicken Boy dying, as everyone assumed, but was angry that the other freaks were healed, and thus were not themselves anymore.

See, the whole point of the book is that the boy should not wake up from the coma, because when he does he will no longer be who he was (paralleling the healed freaks), and is better off as a vegetable. (Which is how it does end - the father and the bikers steal the boy so he cannot be revived, or "resurrected").

Typically when I get to the end of a book that pisses me off, much like the coma boy, I toss the sucker across the room. However, the book is the library's property, not mine, so I will have to placate myself with a snarky post-it note hidden in the book to warn off the next victim.

Hellboy II

Well, I guess this summer the comic book movies are kicking things up a notch.

Guillermo del Toro takes all that has gone before in his movies and tweaks them to 11 for "Hellboy II" (officially: Hellboy II: The Golden Army).

This is the first superhero film where, more than once, I had no idea what was around the corner. It was an interesting experience to be surprised by a movie at my age.

I once had a conversation with a sports nut who didn't like movies; he always fell asleep. I am missing the sports gene entirely, so I thought given our positions at the far ends of the bell curve, we might have some insights for each other. I don't know if he took away anything from me, but what he told me finally helped make the allure of sports understandable. He said (and I paraphrase), "Movies bore me because I always know what's going to happen. In sports, you never know what's going to happen, so there's real suspense." Well heck, I thought, he's right.

I still don't like sports. Even though you don't know that someone is going to get a goal, I am still underwhelmed when someone does.

Btw, what I told him is that, yes, 90% of the time, you can guess how it will end, but you often don't know how the journey will unfold prior to that point.

That's Hellboy II in spades. I thought it was a great flick and my second favorite of the summer season thus far.

This whole summer has been packed with pretty good movies, I've noticed. I have the biggest backlog of "must see on DVD" I've had in a while.

I'm also resurrecting my "Star Wars effect" theory. It's simple: every summer there's a Star Wars movie released, it's a banner year for good movies. I officially pronounced it dead here, but have reconsidered in hindsight as the movies that year have proven to have legs. This year we have Star Wars: The Clone Wars, which I'm not sure I'll see in the theatre, but maybe we have it to thank for the plethora of pictures with panache.

The Wall-E Soundtrack

The Amazon.com "hey, since you bought Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass' 'Beat of the Brass' (that and the soundtracks to Camelot and American Graffiti were the soundtrack of my childhood as they were my mom's favorites), you might like...." recommendation algorithms usually just annoy me, but when they popped the soundtrack of Wall-E at me, I thought, "Hmmm, I don't recall the music from the movie at all." So I hopped over and listened to the samples.

I really liked them. I was ashamed. So I put it on the back burner, chalking it up to a breakfast with too much caffeine and sugar, perhaps. Then I went back another day to listen. I liked it even more. The fact that you can buy a whole MP3 album for $9 has pretty much lowered my threshold for purchase, and I hit that "Buy MP3 Album" frequently these days.

When you cut out the songs from the musical Wall-E's always watching (don't recall which one it was), the Peter Gabriel song, and are left with just the Thomas Newman score (minus the "BNL" jingle), you have yourself an awesome little record.

Sya had a post recently about listening to soundtracks as background music, which prodded the memory of one of my roommates from college who only owned movie soundtracks (they were his favorite to write to), and I picked up that habit. (I apologize to the spirits of proper grammar for that last sentence.)

The Wall-E soundtrack is now in my top 5 that I crank up for that purpose. Sya, get a copy!

Uh, no

I think I found this - The Science Fiction Stories that Inspire and Hinder Real Science - through Digg.com, and (outside of political stuff), I've never happed across an "I'm Listing!" post I disagree with more. There's just too much to pick on, so I'll leave that up to you.


Now, to get that sludgy chemical taste out of your mouth, check in on some stars of viral videos and see where they are now. Extra points to the author for the term: "asshattery".