Monday, January 22, 2007

Please don't read this until you've mentally played the theme song from "Mr. Ed" in your head a couple times. Especially Vegans.

Back during the "Brokeback" controversy, I opined that it would be a bigger scandal had they hauled off and fucked a sheep. Well, seems I had spoken too soon.

From Andrew O'Hehir's reports from Sundance:

There's already a media mini-flurry around "Zoo," the quiet, sensitive, resolutely unsensational documentary about virtually the most sensational subject you can imagine. OK, no, it's not about vagina dentata. But it is about a small community of men in rural Washington state who used to get together on a ranch to have carnal relations with animals. Specifically, with horses. That is, with stallions. One of these men was dumped at an emergency room in July 2005, where he died of a perforated colon. A subsequent investigation of the ranch he had been visiting uncovered many hours of videos of men enjoying similar activities.

Much about this case remains shrouded in mystery. It's amazing that director Robinson Devor got any of these guys to talk to him at all. None of them reveals his real name, and several won't appear on camera. The dead man, purportedly a midlevel U.S. intelligence officer in an unspecified agency, is identified only as "Mr. Hands." Since there's no archival footage to work with (the ranch tapes remain under wraps, unsurprisingly), most of Devor's film consists of re-creations, using actors on substitute locations, narrated in voice-over.

It would be ludicrous to claim that "Zoo" dispels prejudice against people who have sex with animals; these men themselves understand that their practices are not socially acceptable. (They refer to themselves as "zoo," short for zoophile or zoophilia. They say, "I'm zoo," as other people might say they were gay or straight.) But at some level this film will confuse and surprise you. For the most part these guys seem like gentle, lonely and odd people, poorly socialized to human life. They insist that their love for their horses is genuine, and make clear that for the activities they have in mind, no coercion -- and not much persuasion -- was required.

To Bible-believing fundamentalists, of course, there isn't much difference between the activities presented in "Zoo" and ordinary, garden-variety homosexuality.

No, there isn't, Andrew. Unless you consider the vegan angle, then it's worse.

Dude, most of us view that part of the anatomy as "exit only." Particularly when it involves something roughly the size of a louisville slugger. (Even those of us who aren't fundies. Thanks for the obligatory swipe at Christianity, btw.)

Still, I have to see this movie. Truly, what could be better entertainment than a serious documentary about guys who like getting fucked by horses? I'll probably round up the gang and tap a keg.

Let me leave you with this, though. My father-in-law had a good one this last holiday season that I've forgotten to thread into a post until now. But, he asked the very legitimate question (with his tongue firmly in cheek):
"Do vegans breastfeed?"


The Opinionated Homeschooler said...

Just don't Google for "Ulster kings" and "white mare" to find out what our Irish forebears were up to a few centuries ago.

When I was in a Bay Area La Leche League group, there were lots of vegan breastfeeders; exploiting Mom for food I guess didn't count as exploiting animals for food. We were supposed to bring food, and not only did it all have to be vegetarian if not actually vegan, you had to put a 3x5 card next to the dish listing all the ingredients you used. In case someone was allergic, or More Vegan Than Thou, or something. A friend & I used to dare each other to list "breast milk" as an ingredient, just to see if anyone would say anything, but we never worked up the courage.

Yahmdallah said...

Oh, but if you had, it would have been glorious.